These Gilded Seas

Chapter Thirty-Seven: Saudade Confessions

"How?" I stutter. My heart pounds harshly in my chest, beating against my ribs. The golden magic has kick-started back to life, and it pulses beneath me.

It's scared.

Terrified.

Well, me, too.

"Magic," he answers simply. "It's all magic." His hands fall to his sides, but the disguise stays in place. If it wasn't for the eyes and the fact I watched his face morph, then I wouldn't recognize him. It's a faultless ruse.

"But... why?" My body starts to shake as soon as the question leaves my mouth.

Hurry, magic. You're all I have.

No one's coming to save me. Eero's gone; Sam's dead. Josef won't even know I'm in trouble. I'm all that I have.

Zula shrugs. "I told you, if you want power, you must step out of the light and go to places that are cold and treacherous. Do things others would never dream of doing."

"Don't you have enough power?" I choke out. "You're the most powerful creature in the ocean." My cheeks flush red as I correct myself. "Second most powerful. Papa still has you beat."

Purple flashes across his eyes, and a burst of frigid wind slams into me. It takes my breath away, leaving me gasping and shivering. I wrap my arms around myself, but between the rain and the wind, the movement doesn't help.

"I am the most powerful creature in the sea," my uncle hisses, flicking a hand towards me. Before I can run, a frozen tentacle materializes out of thin air and wraps itself around my body. It encloses my body, locking me in place. "Second to none, princess."

"So why do you need more?" I squeak. Every breath is a struggle against the tentacle's hold.

"Because I want to be the most powerful creature in the world." His voice is barely a hiss, a single breath exhaled slowly, but somehow it carries on the wind like he's screaming at me. "What I have is not enough."

"Not enough for what?"

His face twists in rage. I've said something wrong, touched a nerve somehow. Zula hesitates and then asks, "Did he tell you how she died?"

I blink. He? She? Who in the world is he talking about? When I don't respond, he repeats the question, "Did Triton tell you how Athalia died?"

Why are we suddenly talking about my parents? The magic searching the garden falters. I will it to focus. Keep going.

"Papa told me it was an accident," I say. "She was swimming home and cut through a shipwreck. It collapsed."

Saying it out loud hurts, because I haven't spoken about it in years. It was such a ridiculous way for her to die. When I was younger, the unfairness of it all used to haunt me. The Divine chose her, just like She chose my father, and yet, when her time came, a shipwreck took her from us. From me.

"He's a liar!" Zula's scream tightens the ice around me, and I stretch my neck upward to breathe. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to stand it. He's not trying to strangle me, per se, but he will if his temper keeps rising.

"Humans," he spits out, like it's a disgusting word, a swear instead of a statement. "Athalia was obsessed with the stupid creatures. Even as a child, she'd sneak off to the surface to watch the Anjordians. I tried to warn her. Tried to tell her that one day they'd catch her." He shakes his head, and his grip on me tightens minutely. "But then she fell in love with my idiot brother. Had children. Got careless, if you ask me. Lost sight of what's really important in life."