Vatican Cameos (A BBC Sherlock Fanfiction)

22. Criminal Intent

RECEPTION.
***************

Back in the Reception, Sherlock is still reciting the story of The Mayfly Man.

"Married. Obvious, really. Our Mayfly Man was trying to escape the suffocating chains of domesticity ..." Says Sherlock.

John grimaces and shakes his head while Mary widens her eyes briefly and then smiles at him.

"... and instead of endless nights in watching the telly or going to barbecues with awful dreadful boring people he couldn't stand, he used his wits, cleverness and powers of disguise ..."

he finally takes a breath, and smiles slightly

"... to play the field. He was ..."

He stops when he realises that he has lost his audience again. The guests look silently back at him. He looks down to his right to see John looking back at him straight-faced and Mary wrinkling her nose and shaking her head slightly.

"On second thoughts I probably should have told you about the Elephant in the Room. However, it does help to further illustrate how invaluable John is to me. I can read a crime scene the way he can understand a human being. I used to think that's what made me special – quite frankly, I still do. But a word to the wise: should any of you require the services of either of us, I will solve your murder, but it takes John Watson to save your life. Trust me on that – I should know. He's saved mine so many times, and in so many ways."

He holds up his phone.

"This blog is the story of three friends and their frankly ridiculous adventures ..."

He smiles, and the guests chuckle.

"... of murder, mystery and mayhem. But from now on, there's a new story – a bigger adventure."

He looks down at the newlyweds, who smile happily.

"Ladies and gentlemen, pray charge your glasses and be upstanding."

He picks up his own glass while the guests do likewise and stand up. The photographer walks forward with his camera.

"Today begin the adventures of Mary Elizabeth Watson and John Hamish Watson."

John sighs a little, while Mary giggles.

"The two reasons why every single one of us is ..."

He stops, freezing in place, staring blindly towards the guests. The photographer snaps several photos of him but the popping flashbulb doesn't make him react. Sherlock's fingers loosen slightly and his champagne glass slips out of them and begins a slow-motion tumble towards the floor.
Back in the Council Chamber, Sherlock – now in his wedding gear – lowers his raised hand and turns towards the five uniformed women.

"What did you say?" Asks Sherlock, pointing at Tessa.

"You said, 'John Hamish Watson.' You said that. You said, 'Hamish.'"

(Again, she said that in the part i ignored writing. Im starting to think I should've written it, right?)

Flashback to Tessa's landlord hauling a drunk Sherlock up onto his knees.

"... whoa, whoa!" Says Sherlock.

"This is a famous detective. It's Sherlock Holmes and his partner, John Hamish Watson." Says Tessa.

"How did you know? How did you know his middle name?" Asks Sherlock, still facing her.

"He never tells anyone. He hates it."

FLASHBACK.
****************

Sherlock, with at least ten unlit cigarettes stuffed in his mouth, walks across the living room of 221B. John is sitting at the dining table facing the windows and typing on his laptop, and Sherlock frowns down at the screen as he walks past. Taking the cigarettes out of his mouth, he turns his back on John as he walks into his line of sight so that John can't see the cigarettes. There is a lot less grey in John's hair so this flashback takes place not long after John moved into Baker Street.