Y'know. I kinda just felt like being weird. And if that means I gotta make a fanfic about Boris's moist cheeks then so be it.
Donald is in here too so.. be warned lmao.
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Smexy spongebob 😌
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Squidward often found himself in a bowl of soup, this is because I eat him a lot, he is so juicy. Lorraine does not like this, so she saves him. He is eternally grateful and often shows his affection by pooping in her bed.
Unlike Johnny Depp, Lorraine likes this and cherishes every little toot toot, poop poop, the squid makes. She even keeps them in little jars next to her bed. Like a weirdo.
Every night they snuggle together while Boris, Donald and die, wrestle on the bouncy castle. She always misses all the fun. She said she doesn't care but, secretly she does. Squidward doesn't let her leave, ever. But she's a simp so she doesn't care at all. (At least that's what she says).
Boris and I Often spy on her when she's with the chubby squid and we've even seen them snuggle with a spongebob a few times! They are weird.
But then, a little ginger shit called McKenzie kept throwing pencils at her and annoyed the hell out of me.Even Lorraine doesn't like him.
That bitch looks like a clown.
Ronald McDonald? No, Ronald McKenzie.
Such a ho ho hoe
He's a hoe that Not even the cat in the hat would love.
He's ginger and a bitch.
We both think he's gay but he might be trans. Everyone thinks this week because of him, he's always trying to intimidate but he's just sad. Always hanging around girls, only girls, he talks like one too.
His voice is so high and he's always saying "hee HEE", doesn't he know but my bae, Michael Jackson, he's way better than him and would never be near him. His ass would be the last thing he would touch.
Anyways, Lorraine wanted to steal my Boris right? But the thing is, he didn't and still doesn't know how to read.So all those love letters that you send to him on his TikTok page just go to waste. YOU HEAR ME LORRAINE?!! Layoff my smexy bean of a man,
Mmmmmmmmmmmm....Boris...
My mother seems to think I fancy Boris with his sweat smelling hair (yeah that's right, sweat smelling) and musty Oder, but she's wrong. I can't fancy him if he's already mine
UwU
A couple days ago, Squidward stole my shoe. Donald got mad and this so he chased him around the garden. They were both running around on all fours.
Funny thing about squids, they don't have legs. Just some slimy tentacles that Lorraine loves. So it's not a surprise when Donald, that flumpy old toasted bean, catches the squid and takes back my shoe.
GOOD BOY DONALD!!
Lorraine doesn't like it when her bae looses, so she threw her other clingy fling, spongebob, at me. So rude!!! However, spongebob. That STUUUUUUUUUUUUPID SPONGE!! squiggled away from me. Such a scaredy sponge. So annoying. Lorraine kissed squidwards lil tentacles and decided to find a bath tub. That smelly squid needed a wash!
Uh oh stinkyyyyyy!!
Boris and I, and Donald too I guess, we're twerking on the trampoline when there was a knock of the window, only we didn't have any glass, we have icing in sugar. So I don't know how it didn't break.
At the window was John Cena. He looks MAAAAD. But it's fine cause he only wanted to borrow some dru— some sugar in minecraft. He had to give me half a stack of iron for it though, cause that's my sugar! But then Lorraine burned down my minecraft house! So I kicked her in the earlobe!! In REAAAAL life! Just got kiss your squids ass and leave me alone dammit! It's my house AND my sugar!! 😤😤😤
In the end, I exploded her dirt mansion and made her eat poisonous potatos. Cause that's what she deserved. Squidward and spongebob tried to join the game to protect their beloved seagull smuggler but u kicked them out!
This made them argue. Normally they are quite good friends, lovers even! But my Boris once caught them fighting about cake so now they aren't really good people to each other. They turned to bondage, which Lorraine LOVES.
I hate him old friend Sofia the first for one reason. Spongebob. When the sponge and I were in a committed, STD free relationship 😏, She smeggled with and then he started his quest to have the most STD filled clarinet of all time! So I left him.
75 of spongebobs STDs are from Sofia. That BETCH!!
I know he has 9042 of them but still! She basically passed on all the known ones to him! It's like she gave him his first STD Pokémon 😤😤!! However, the one okay thing that Sofia did was introduce me to Lorraine. Because now I don't have to have Squidward and spongebob trailing after me 24/7!! They trail after her instead!
UwU
Eventually everyone snuggled together after a big gang banging cuddle fest and we all fell asleep on Shreks massive forehead. Even Squidward and spongebobs fell asleep!
