Hard Hit

The Good News

I don't know how long I have been crying, but it must have been a while because my eyes were sore. In the bathroom I splash water on my face-washing away the tears. Joshua isn't even involved with people like those who were killed; he's a great guy with amazing friends. Maybe he was just the only one there. I think back to what he sent me: I got into something I shouldn't have. What does he mean? My thoughts were disrupted when my cellphone started ringing. I looked at the caller ID and it was that of the local county jail. With in seconds on was on the line hearing Joshua's voice.
"I'm going to be here for a while, Courtney. My bail is over 24,000. When Tessa is born tell her-"
"Joshua, who's Tessa?"
The other end was silent for a few moments, "I didn't tell you the good news?"
"What good news?"
Silence again.
"The results came in earlier today, the doctors let me see the papers. It's a girl, Bae."
I felt my heart drop into my stomach as I stood in complete shock. A girl, what would my mom think if she knew I was pregnant and still a senior in high school? I didn't know how to respond really, so I just looked into my reflection. I was going to be a mother soon, in 6 months. Honestly, I don't think I'm ready to parent a child anymore after all her father's in jail. I can't afford raising a child on my own. I would've started crying by now if I could, but I've been crying all day. I tell him my goodbyes leaving out the "I love you" part, not giving him a chance to say anything else to me-I hang up.

Later that day, my neighbor came and visited. Unfortunately he had heard about Joshua.
"I'm fine, Dave, really." I say with a fake smile plastered across my face.
"He spoke to me earlier, Cassy. I know you're not okay."
I look at down at the floor, concentrating hard on the carpet-trying my best to ignore Dave. I never noticed the different colors and hues that blended throughout the carpet, filling it with glory. The colors looked so splendid with one another. That thought made me think back before Tessa came into mind. People always told Joshua and I that we went together like toast and butter. After three years of dating, we took it further. I'll never forget that night, the moon was at its fullest, providing just enough light to add an elegant glow to everything in the room. It was hard for me to get comfortable with Joshua being on me like 'that', but after he told me everything was going to be okay. He comforted me more that night than he ever had before. Dave snapped me out of my trans calling my name repeatedly.
"Dave," I said,"you should go."
"Okay." He mumbled after a moments pause.