Forgive Me, Laurel

The Adventures of Denise and "Jaycie"

"There was no way of saving her, Miss Harper. Your mother was killed on impact," Dr. Jackson explains. I drum my fingers on the railing of the hospital bed.

"Can you explain this again?"

She sighs and replies with, "Of course, Miss Harper." Does she know my first name?

"You and your mother, Hanna Harper, were driving to Ingrid's Restaurant in Westmont on the night of October 15th, 2015 in Hanna Harper's red Buick Lucerne CX Sedan. An intoxicated high schooler from Middlepark was driving in the wrong direction and hit the front of your mother's vehicle. Again, I am very sorry. If you have any more questions, please ask Rachel. She has your file. Goodbye, Miss Harper. I shall see you either tomorrow or later this week. We have some very important things to talk about."

Dr. Jackson begins to exit my room and I stop her, "Dr. Jackson, you can call me Jaycee, if you want."

She smiles and says, "Okay, Jaycee. Call me Denise." Denise leaves.

As soon as the door shuts, Laurel scampers out of her bed and over to the armchair next to mine. "Hello again, Jaycee Harper."

"Hi, Laurel. What's up?" I ask her. "Oh, nothing. I just came over to tell you that I made you something." She hands me a small bracelet. On it reads "JAYCIE." I feel almost guilty that my name isn't spelled that way and casually smile.

"It's a friendship bracelet, see? I have one, too." She holds her wrist up and points to the carefully stitched green and pink letters: L-A-U-R-E-L.

Surprised that anyone actually wanted to be my friend, I asked, "We just met this morning, remember?" Laurel's bright smile turns into a frown and she blushes. "No, no, Laurel. Don't get me wrong, it's just that no one really wanted to be my friend back home."

I cringe thinking about the countless days I'd spent sitting in the back of class with my earbuds blasting every Macklemore song known to iTunes. Laurel snaps me out of my daze, "Where's your home?"

"First of all, where are we currently?" Laurel laughs, "Grace Valley United Children's Hospital in Haring." A lightbulb turns on in my head. "I live near Haring. My house is like twenty minutes away! I go to Belmont High - in Belmont. I'm in ninth grade." Laurel can't quit her smiling.

"I'm in eighth. I go to Crestbrook in Hartford. It's a drive, but my parents decided that since the hospital is better here, they can endure an extra hour in the car." We sit and look around the room and Laurel (as always) breaks the silence.

"Hey, let us play a game. We both take turns saying something that the other person does not know about yourself. I'll go first. Okay, I have two sisters and one brother. Their names are Chloe, Charlie, and Casey. Casey is my brother and Charlie is my sister. Now, you go."

Without thinking, I blurt out, "My name is J-A-Y-C-E-E." Laurel looks confused, because she is.

"What?" I take a deep breath. "My name. You spelled it wrong on the bracelet." Laurel starts crying. "Oh, my God! I am so sorry! Here, let me-" Laurel reaches for my wrist with one hand and wipes her eyes with the other.

"No, I like it. It says "this person cared so much about me without actually knowing anything about me."