The Tale of Shrek And Mark Zuckerberg

Chapter 1 - The Transfer

It was happening again, yet another school was Mark being transferred to for his parents work. It's not like he minded grades wise, of course, he had always topped all of his classes anywhere he went. The problem was friends. When you've never stayed in the same place for more than a year it's difficult to make any sort of friends.

At this point he was used to it though, what once was longing to stay in one place, had now turned into the ticking down for it to be over. To become the mysterious new kid again. To have a new shot at friends again. This never came with much success however, everyone treated the new kid with the same mannerisms as they would treat a science experiment. Look and prod, but never properly interact.

"Mark? Markkk?" He snapped back to reality, remembering that he was still seated in the principal's office. "Sorry, yes?" He straightened himself up in his chair, attempting to focus. "Well, as you might know by now my name is Principal Slay, welcome to Swamp Bottom High.". She flashed a smile. "Here is a list of your classes and a school map, if you have any problems just ask someone to point you to the office and Receptionist Queen will sort you out." I nodded. The bell rung and Ms Slay looked at her watch, "Now if you don't mind, you'll have to get going as I have a parent coming in for a meeting in about five minutes. That was the bell so you should make your way to first period now." And with that, she nudged me out the door.

Swamp Bottom High was quite a lot like the other schools i had been to. The rustle bustle in the halls and the constant clang of students opening and closing their lockers as they made their way to classes, I looked on my sheet. Room 219, realising I had to walk halfway across the school, I start making my way towards the classroom, checking my timetable for the classes I had that day while doing so. I groan, PE last.

I feel something hit my foot followed by a series of muffled swears. Swerving around I see a man face down on the floor, books and pages scattered everywhere. Everyones eyes flicking back and forth between him and me as though we were playing a game of tennis.

I turn my head back to where the man was laying before stumbling back to see that he had now gotten up and was a few inches away from my face. "NOW WHO DO I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF MEETING?" He boomed, voice echoing down the corridor. The surrounding chatter falling quiet, everyone watching intently. "Uhhhh, I'm Mark, I just transferred here today" He could sense the fear in my eyes, the panic as to what he would do next. "Well, considering you're new, I won't give you a detention. The names Mr Flink. You might want to watch where you're going, you wont be as lucky next time" There was a communal exhale among those watching, some of relief and others annoyed that they didn't witness a yelling.

The rest of the day passed by quite slowly, I took refuge in the library at recess and lunch and made sure not to trip any other people over. Alas, however, as it was now time for PE, the class I had been dreading all day. Walking out onto the field, I see a class gathering in the distance which I head over to. As I get closer I can make out the faces of the people properly, a few of which I recognise from other classes. The crowd parts and standing there, of all people, is Mr Flink. He doesn't bother to say anything when he notices me, instead sends us to jog around the oval as a warm up.

As we're doing so I notice the rugby team out of the corner of my eye. There, in the middle stands the 7 foot, green man of my dreams. His rippling biceps moving back and forth as he jogged the length of the field.

That was when, for the second time today, my feet failed me.

I tripped.