Starfall

10 Words

Toska. Longing. 

Kiki looked up in horror at Bucky stood in front of her. 

"We've landed. It's time to get out." She quickly plastered a smile on her face, thinking furiously. He couldn't know she knew, not yet. Not until she remembered more.

 "What were you doing?"

Rzhavyy. Rusted. 

"Just thinking. It's weird, not knowing." He would know how that felt. 

"I get it. Especially since you've had it before." The time in the base. With Gabriel. "Come on, they're waiting for us."

Pech. Furnace. 

They stepped out into the bright sunlight, stretching from the journey. Thanks to Stark's funding, they still travelled in style even after his death. 

But he was free. He was never supposed to go back. 

Rassvet. Daybreak. 

They said he was free. 

He was himself again. The Winter Soldier had been killed, even if he still had the memories. He kept looking at her weirdly. Did he know? Or did he suspect? How much did he remember?

Semnadstat. Seventeen. 

Lee was there. Lee, who had always been by her side. Lee, who knew everything about her. How much did Lee know?

"Good to see you're alive, Moonface."

Debrokachestenny. Benign. 

"Ah, I live to disappoint. Sorry for going AWOL."

Lee rolled her eyes and put an arm around her shoulder. 

"There's some people here to see you."

Devyat. Nine. 

"Who?" Had they been sold out? Shit, had Lee sold them out?

Sol, Nova, Az and Rosa ran towards her. "Surprise!" 

She laughed, all bad thoughts leaving her head. Except...

Vozvrashcheniye domoy. Homecoming. 

The words swirled round, even as she talked to Rosa, even as she laughed with Sola. It was nice to see them, but she needed time alone. She had started mouthing the words, speaking along, to see if that would stop them. 

It didn't. 

Odin. One.

 Finally, Nova took Rosa out the room, sensing she might need to rest, and Az and Sola followed soon. 

So finally she was alone. She delved deep, remembering everything she could, with the words still echoing in her ears. 

Gruzovoy avtomobil. Freight car. 

And then she knew what had happened. 

☾

She was gonna hate him. 

He had been actually... relieved, when she said she didn't remember anything from the past 3 weeks. Even though it disgusted some small part of him. The rest was just happy she didn't know that part of him. 

And she would never know it again. He would make sure of that. 

Everyone thought that because the Winter Soldier couldn't be activated, that meant he was dead. But that wasn't the case. He couldn't be killed, not really, because he wasn't a person, as such. How ironic, really, that the person who only killed could not be killed. 

So that meant, when Hydra had taken him as he tried to rescue Kiki, they had been able to reactive the Winter Soldier, and he had been lying dormant for the past few months since he had been revived. 

And then Crescentia managed to get him to the base in under half an hour, and then activated him. And she had heard. 

But how had she remembered? He was very thorough with making sure she inhaled the drug, and then placing her somewhere amount the ruins with her bag to make sure she wouldn't suspect. Then he had hidden as far away as he could get and pretending nothing had gone wrong. Of course, he hadn't known she was injured (again), but he made sure she was safe in every other aspect. 

Something had obviously triggered it in her mind. 

She knew.

☾

It wasn't really his fault. 

Sure, lots of them were dead, and sure, it was him that killed them, but it wasn't really his fault. If it was anyones, it was Crescentia's. That little bitch. 

Bucky had spent so long in fear of what he had done – what he could do – and he was finally free of it. 

But she had ruined that. 

Kiki wasn't scared, though. He hadn't been able to kill her. And as long as she kept him in sight, looked after him then she knew, deep in her heart, even through what she remembered, she truly knew...

It wasn't his fault.