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tahani
it's been a few days since the whole thing at kaymor's house, yeah everybody had text me but i hadn't really been talking to anyone besides aspen.
i still can't get over how kylin really tried to throw sumn in my face like that...sumn i really trusted her with nobody else truly knew about that shit beside my parents and aspen when i mentioned it one time.
i felt tears of frustration build up in my eyes as i thought about when i tried to kill myself, i was at the lowest point in my life honestly and wanted the easy way out.
i sighed as i stared at aspen's contact, i was trying to figure out whether or not to call her.
it was going on 2 in the morning and i just needed her right now, i finally pressed the facetime button and let it ring.
"hello?" her soft voice came through the phone on the 5th ring.
"was you sleep?"
"yeah..lemme guess you wanna come over?" she asked.
"i-i was hoping you'd come over here actually.." i trailed off and i heard shuffling on her end.
"yeah i'll come, give me a few minutes to wake up...you good tho?" she asked.
"yeah...just want yo presence." i said and she hummed in response.
"okay i'm finna come tee i love you." she said and my heart skipped a few beats.
"i love you too." i hung up and just sat there for a minute.
i love you.
𖧷𖧷𖧷
"tahani i swear if your sleep..." i heard aspen say as i walked to the front door.
"impatient as hell." i said once i opened the door.
"oh- hey look i got snacks!" she held up two walmart bags which i took from her.
"thank you mama." i said then pecked her lips and she smiled.
i led her up to my bedroom and she sat down leaning back against the headboard,"why you up so late anyways?" she asked before yawning.
i shrugged as i laid beside her,"mind was racing..." i said then looked over at her.
"about what? the thing at kaymor's?" she asked making me nod my head.
"you want me to beat her ass? i ain't gotten in a fight since highschool i'm ready." she said and i laughed before shaking my head.
"nah it ain't worth it baby."i said and she shrugged before going in one of the bags.
"i bought you some gars." she said pulling a few out.
"you not 21 tho?" i said and she pursed her lips together.
"don't worry about allat just know i got them."
i shurgged and placed them on my nightstand,"you wanna talk about it or no?" she asked and i thought about it.
"can you hold me?"
"i'm not holding yo fat ass." she said and i smacked my lips.
"aspen."
"i'm playingggg c'mere big baby." she said holding her arms out.
i laid my head down on her stomach, i wrapped one arm sound her waist and used the other to reach inside her shirt and rest my hand on her titty.
"you love feeling on my boobs-"
"you wanna hear the story or not?"
"go ahead." she said and i sighed before starting.
"i ain't gonna say much foreal but- like i remember i took the pills...even cut some. i passed out before i could make it out the bathroom
i woke up and my dad was holding me and crying to my mom as she was on the phone ...she also had tears in her eyes, once i was stable enough they both kept blaming each other for me doing it
when in reality i tried to talk to them both about my mental health and they wouldn't listen and say i was overreacting. after i tried to commit i didn't really talk for a few months
and when i did they tried to tend to me as much as possible and kept trying to make sure i was good and what not...but it's like damn i foreal have to prove to y'all in a way i wasn't okay." i said then looked up at aspen who was staring down at me and you could tell she was deep in thought.
"hello- aspen?" i waved my hand in front of her face.
"sorry i was tryna soak in everything you said, like for me to focus foreal i gotta zone out and listen." she said as she played in my hair.
"so now do y'all have a good connection or what?" she asked.
"i mean it's better then morning and we can call and joke around with each other now ." i said and she nodded her head.
"how about you?"
"what about me?" she asked before yawning.
"yo nightmares?" she shurgged in response.
"aspen."
"okay okay they've come back but it's fine." she said and i smacked my lips.
"i really feel you should go to therapy about that shit foreal mama." i said and she shook her head no.
"it's just sumn i gotta live with i'll get over it, they come and go." she said.
"whatever helps you...just consider it." i said and she nodded her head
"i will baby thank you." she said and i smiled up at her.
"i gotta tell you sumn... that one day we was at the zoo and i was holding yo phone and looking at the pictures you took- umm...it was video and you was wearing a long ass strap." she quickly said and i laughed as her face started turning red.
"you wanna see it in real life?" i asked and her face got even redder if possible.
"bye tee." she said looking away from me.
i laughed and pulled my hand out her shirt then leaned up and started kissing on her face as she laughed and tried to duck my kisses.
"i'm foreal tho, yeen answer my question." i said and she shook her head.
"Imma be honest i've been fighting my sleep ever since i got here, not tonight." she said and i nodded my head.
"okay, night mama."
"night baby." i pecked her lips a few times then laid beside her and pulled the cover over us.
"tell me a bedtime story..." she mumbled.
i looked at her and her eyes were half closed,"no go to sleep."
"i- wow i see i'm not loved." she said then turned away from me and faced the wall.
i shook my head before wrapping my arm around her and pulled her close to me, i heard her let out a sigh then turn around and pressed her forehead against mines.
"yo ass must like skin to skin." i said and her eyes opened.
"yes and i find it weird cause i usually hate people touching me foreal." she said before closing her eyes and scooted even closer to me, if that was even possible.
i kissed her lips before closing my eyes and found myself smiling, for once i really talked about it.
