Beautiful People | wlw

Thirty-seven: Runway

After Vera's speech had spun itself out, Sharise parted her lips, then pressed them together again. She looked up at the sky, eyes tracing out the path of an airplane crossing high overhead, visible only by the blinking lights on the tips of its wings. Vera was sure her thudding heart could be heard all the way at the end of the alley.

At last, her gaze settled. She spoke in a soft voice, and Vera stepped closer to listen.

"After you left that day in Venice, when the photos leaked, Carmen was lashing out. She was being cruel. I knew it was only because she was hurt, but that didn't make it easier to be her target. And you and I had been talking about what I would want to do if I wasn't working for Carmen, and I–" She paused. Her throat rippled as she swallowed. "I realized that our working relationship wasn't serving either of us. Maybe it hadn't been for a long time. So I told her that I could support her through this as a friend, but not as her manager. And I walked out."

Half a laugh trickled from her lips. "I regretted it immediately, because she was in crisis, and I had abandoned her. She was too upset with me to let me walk back in, but I made some calls for her, to help her find a new team fast. Someone who could handle her and the situation with care. Then, since she still wasn't talking to me, I went to Paris. While I was there we came up with this event, for Carmen. And I realized you were right. I didn't even know who I was without her anymore."

Vera didn't remember saying that, at least not in so many words, but maybe something they'd talked about had sparked an epiphany. Either way, she wasn't entirely surprised to hear it. Just a little sad.

Sharise pressed a palm against the brick of the building, maybe drawing strength from its lingering warmth. "You say you run from difficult things. I'm the opposite. I cling. Even when they hurt, I can't let go of the things I know." Her gaze lengthened, went somewhere else. "You know that I cut my mother out of my life. It was the right decision, but goddamn, I still miss her sometimes. I think I'm so afraid of losing more people that way that I'd rather stay with the pain I know than risk the pain I don't."

She shook her head, dappled yellow light sparking off the gold stars in her hair. "When we met, your intensity scared me. The way you rush into things without looking over your shoulder. Not like me. I wade in slowly, always ready to back out or see betrayal. But your passion is exhilarating, and I fell for you anyway."

Vera forced herself to unstick her jaw and say it even though she didn't want to. "I don't want you to stay with me because you're afraid to let go."

"No. After Ellie, I promised myself I would never make that mistake again." She pressed a hand to her stomach as though an old ache lingered there, then let out a small, sharp breath and dropped it. "I was hurt that you moved out, but I think that it was a good thing. You undo me, Vera. I can't think clearly when you're around. The space gave me clarity."

Vera forced her heel to stop tapping. This was it. She was about to be dumped for good. But she had tried. That's all she could do.

At least the boots that were going to crush her heart under their heels were fabulous ones. It wouldn't make it hurt less, but she could appreciate the aesthetics of a beautiful heartbreak.

Starlight caught in Sharise's teeth as she smiled, a small, gentle smile. "You're not the only one who's been busy during our break. I decided I want to find out who I am when I'm not Carmen's manager. I'm going to give acting another shot. I got an agent and I'm already looking at a few scripts. I said no sassy best friends."

"Oh my god." Vera was stunned and thrilled in equal measure. "Congratulations! I can't wait to see you as the romantic lead in the film of the summer."

"We'll see what happens." The corners of her eyes crinkled. "But I know that I wouldn't have had the courage to move on if you hadn't encouraged me to reconsider my priorities."