"Gone." - A One Direction FanFic

Chapter 4 - Right or wrong?

**Author's note: Sorry I took so long guys! I hope you've liked my fanfic so far, leave comments please, I love reading your feedback. Thank you for reading this! **

He kissed me. Harry Styles kissed me. My dead boyfriends band mate kissed me. I kissed him back. No, I still am. I need to pull away. This isn't right. But how can something wrong feel this right? I realize it sounds like something out of an old flop 90's movie. Its cliché but what if the reason its such a cliché is because thats how it happens. No, no, no wrong is wrong, right is right, and this is... wrong? Isn't it?

As these contradictory feelings continued to flood through me and conquer my mind I found myself pulling away from Harry. Before I could think, my lips started moving and words started forming themselves, "Harry, this isn't right.. its just, its wrong isn't it?" Harry's expression suddenly changed, anyone could see the guilt in his eyes this moment. "It is," Harry muttered and quickly got up to his feet. "Harry!" I yelled but he didn't stop, he just stormed out of the house.  

Why would he do that? He kissed me first. Its like he was blaming me, was I really too blame in this situation? Well, partly yes. I did kiss him back and that was wrong, very wrong but its not like I can take it back now.  

-The next day- 

*Knock Knock* "Harry? Open up, you just can't ignore me like this, we.. we need to talk about this," I pleaded, "Please Harry." 

Some one opened the door but it wasn't Harry. It was Liam. What was he doing at Harry's place? "Hii Liam.." I said a slight bit confused, "Is Harry there?"  

"Yeah we're all sitting in the living room," Liam answered cheerfully as he invited to come in. The words 'we're all' echoing through my head, I began to worry. He said 'we're all' as in more than just he and Harry were there. Worse; they were talking about me. Did Harry tell all the lads about last night? Would he do that? Well why else would they be talking about me? As I walked into the living room, I put on a fake smile to hide my worry and tried to sound as calm as possible. 

"Hi guys," I waved at Louis, Zayn and Harry. I couldn't help but notice Niall wasn't there. I was just about to ask where he was, but then I realized he's never going to be there again, because he was gone. Just the thought made my eyes watery but I held back the tears. They were finally beginning to look slightly happy. I couldn't cry, it would just ruin all the recovery time and therapy they all had been taking to cope with Niall's de- death. Niall's death, just the words sent chills up my spine and the awful truth that this happened, that I was to blame just made me want to curl up in a corner and cry me eyes out. It just made me want to die.

"HEY!" Louis and Zayn yelled simultaneously with big smiles on their faces. I had seeing them like this was calming for me, it reminded me of a lot of good times. After their cheerful greetings came Harry's glum "Hello," he faked a smile but I could see right through it, anyone could.

"Boy do we have good news for you!" Louis exclaimed as he got up and put his arms around me. "And what would that be?" I said enthusiastically.  

"NO I'M TELLING HER. Harry told us what you said last night about wanting us to still be a band, well we've been talking about it and we think that you're right." Zayn said.

Just as he said that ran towards Zayn and hugged him, "Does that mean you guys aren't breaking up?" I asked. "We aren't," I heard Liam say from the back as he came towards us and joined our hug. Louis and Harry joined the hug too. When I pulled away, my eyes weren in tears. They weren't breaking up. That meant that within them, Niall's dream would still go on, it would still be a reality.

Later that night, everyone left. Except for me, that is. Harry and I were alone again, this reminded me of the real reason I was there. "Harry. I came to talk to you about last night and it's about time that we talk." I said demanding his attention.

"What's their to talk about?" Harry said, I looked at him blankly as he continued, "I made a mistake. I should never have kissed you. I made a mistake and I won't repeat. I'm sorry."

"Okay, good. Nice to see we agree on this.. situation, I gues I'm going to get going now, it's getting too late anyway." I said as I began to walk towards the door. "Bye Serena," Harry waved at me. I waved back with a fake smile.

As I walked towards my car, I felt my heart pounding loudly in my chest. I should be relieved, he admitted his mistake, he didn't tell any one. But I wasn't. Why aren't I relieved? Why am I not Happy? Why am I sad and angry? WHY? We fixed our mistake, this would be the last of it. It just angered me that he shrugged it off just like that. Did it mean nothing to him? That hurt and I knew why. It meant something to me. I wasn't sure what, but it felt right.