•••Ashtons pov•••
I need a smoke so bad. Michael already asked me why I was so on edge. I couldn't tell him I'm DEPRIVED of a cigarette.
He'll beat my a$s.
See a while ago we made a rule "no smoking". Except I hadn't thought that I would have wanted to smoke.
A couple months later, turns out.... smoking is worth it.
Anyway we're in an interview right now. So SO sosososososo boring.
"Ashton pay attention."
Shit Michaels getting irritated. Its just so hard to focus when you are this jittery from withdrawal. I can't think straight. Need a cigarette.
"Micheal I'm gonna go to the bathroom." Nodding he turns back to the interview.
I walk outside instead of to the bathroom.
I slide a cigarette out of my jacket pocket. Lighting it I place the killing between my lips. I inhale deeply, oh what a wonderful feeling.
No body in the world could stop me from smo- "Ashton Irwin what are you doing?"
Shit shit shit. Do I run? No Michael will catch me. Do I put it out and act like I never used one? Dumb Ass idea. I could just face the crime.
Before I decide what to do Michael sits me into the car and we drive off.
"Mikey I-I'm soso s-sorry." Normally I would beg for him to forgive me except I have no desire to fight.
I did something wrong, not to mention my poor baby's saw it. I hope Calum and Luke don't get any ideas. I really don't want them to smoke. Damn it Ashton you fucked up again. I'm such a worthless shit. Why was I so fucking selfish?
For the first time in a long time I want to do something I swore I wouldn't do. I have a sudden urge to cut.
I have to tell Mikey. I can't go back to my old ways. No. I can't. Must tell Michael. The voice of a demon has entered my head and the boys are the only ones that can help.
If I tell them now they will think that I'm just trying to get out of punishment. If I don't tell them though it might be too late.
'Just cut, or scratch. No one cares.' The demon rages."
"Mikey help help help, please." I plead with all my might.
We've now arrived at the house.
"What's wrong Ashy, what happened?" Michael looks confused.
"The voice it came back. It won't leave. Help."
Carrying me inside he pulls be into a snuggle on the couch.
He hushes me. "Ashton think happy thoughts. Remember when we went to the waterpark. Or how it was our first concert?"
I think. Thinking until it goes away.
I snuggle into Mikeys chest. "All better" i yawn.
"Love I know that you are tired and scared but you still have a punishment." Nodding I bend over the arm of the couch. "20 with the belt. 15 with the brush. 10 with my hand. Okay?"
I nod as he slides of his belt. The numbers are low so hell whap hard.
WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP.
I'm sobbing but I don't complain.
He picks up the brush.
WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP.
I'm limp.
SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK
"All done baby"
And that's the end of it.
