Chased by Dilemmas

Repetition, and it Might Not End

[TRIGGER WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS PHYSICAL CHILD ABUSE, A DIALOGUE THAT CONTAINS ABLISM, AND MAY TRIGGER CHILDHOOD TRAUMAS. PLEASE CONSIDER MENTAL PREPARATIONS]

"What are you saying? Stop insulting us!"

-"I'm sorry Mrs. Fischer, but it is not an insult, I have studied the psychology of children for a long time as a teacher. Now fortunately its effects are mild but signs do show... Ellina please don't worry, go play with Ethan and I will talk with mommy and daddy"

-"No, you will stay so you listen and get better! Don't disobey me like you always do! And you shut up! There is no such thing as autism! I do not believe any of these jokes. She can be better only if she works harder and suffers more."

-"Sir, please, I am serious. We are discussing manners that have nothing to do with your child's efforts. Why do you want to bring her to this discussion! It will only cause her more stress!"

Ellina was confused so she looked around and asked her mom with a low voice "mommy? why are you angry?"

-"Do you want to know why?" The father stood up with a disappointing furious expression and slapped her. Ellina started shedding tears with confusion. She put her hands on her head shivering and not knowing what to do.

-"No Mr. Fischer, stop! it is not her fault" Said the teacher pulling the father's hand away from Ellina.

-"Mommy and I are angry because you decided to be the fucking airhead of the family!" Ellina shook her head to the sides every time the father was yelling.

The father realized that the older brother was standing outside the door the whole time "you! you are the one who spends most of the day with her! Look what you've done to your sister... look at this misery!"

-"Mr. Fischer that is enough! Ethan, take Ellina and leave. I'll have to give your father here some instructions"

Ethan went inside and stared at the parents with a dead and frustrated expression. He turned to Ellina and whispered, "Hey, Ellen, let's go to the car, I'll buy you pop tarts on the way." She was still shedding tears but got excited and nodded.

The father turned to her and shouted more "you never obey us! you never respond to us! it's only Ethan so I guess he is the one who feeds you and gives you a roof to sleep under every day. This is not a problem for me anymore... It's you! You are the problem!" The father caused Ellina to put her hand on her head more and shed more tears as they leave. "You are the problem! You are the problem! You are the problem!" And the repetition goes on and on with the red horrific scene of the sky as the sun sets reminds Ellina of the anger of her parents as she puts her hand on her head more.

"Are you okay?" Ethan was concerned with what his sister went through. He kneeled and held her by the shoulders gently "Ellen... there is nothing mom and dad said that is correct, do you understand?"

-"So what mister Aaron said was?"

-"Was what?"

-"Correct?"

-"I will answer you in the car." Ethan hoped she could forget the whole barbaric conversation ever happened and return to her usual cheery self.

When they got in the car, Ellina asked "Ethan, who is autism?"

-"What?" Ethan was thinking 'aww shit' the moment she asked.

-"Mr. Aaron said that I am autism"

Ethan took a note and a pen thinking of a way to explain to Ellina. He drew a circle and wrote 'brain' inside it. "This is the type of brain a lot of people like me, your friends, and mommy and daddy have." He wrote more small circles inside it and wrote several words in each circle: 'talking', 'math', 'English', and 'love'. "These are the smart bubbles. The math bubble is big if you are smart at math. And if you're smart at English, then your English bubble is big." He paused to make sure that she understood.

-"And if I'm smart at love, my love bubble is big?"

-"If you love your friends and family and games so much, then it is big" Ethan continued to explain after another pause "people who have... autism... have some small bubbles. But in return, other bubbles that they have are very big!"

-"So I have small bubbles"

-"Yes. But maybe you have a bigger bubble than me!"

-"Really?!" Ellina got excited and forgot all about the heated conversation that happened earlier "which bubble is big? How big is it?"

-"I don't know, it might be math, it might be English, it might even be a bubble that I didn't write."

Ellina paused to think for a moment while she is still grinning "if it's my love bubble, then it's because of you, Ethan."

Ethan was happy at what she said so he hugged her "w thank you! you are so cute and I can never wish for another sister" Although she couldn't understand the second part of the sentence, Ellen felt happy.

Since the parents came they never paid any attention to the children. Slowly came the darkness of night but the darkness of their lost minds was never away. The family had dinner and Ellen went to sleep.

It is as if nothing happened, however, it is obvious that they hate Ellina. They decided to always think less of their daughter. Ethan might have thought of the news as slightly surprising but he got used to his sister's way of understanding, for he used to teach her some things she did not understand and he always uses a note, a pen, and some creativity to make her a way to know the things she wants to know.

However; Ellina does have something other than that condition. Something that is far more horrific and can be dangerous. And it shows for the first time in her life the next morning.

"Doctor Adams... Are you there? speak to me!"

"Who is Doctor Adams?"

End of chapter one