♢Summer journal ♤

Day 2 - Problems

05/21/22

Today is a new day! Sadly it's a boring new day, there's nothing happening today except for my phone. I dropped it and its screen is completely destroyed. Hopefully my dad can get a new one for me tomorrow, but if not I can live. It's just a phone so there's no big deal about it. My phone is actually pretty old, and ironically the screen protector retired a few days ago. Anyways, hopefully I can go to my actual house today, I get to watch my favorite shows when I'm there. Plus I can walk to a park if I get bored there. Here all I can walk to is the airport.

You may be confused on why J have two houses, right? Well actually I stay with my aunt for school because a bus runs through here. My dads house is in the woods, like the only bus going trough there is a elementary bus that's got a weirdly large zone thing. But at my dads it's like an escape, it's so peaceful and feels so cozy. Unlike this suburban rich stereotypical neighborhood, everyone here is homophobic, including my aunt and her shitty offspring. Yeah, and people ask me why I don't want to come out and not care what they think. Because truthfully if I fought back against these old hags, they'd beat me to a pulp. I couldn't bear to let my little sister see that, which is another reason why I'd never come out to my whole family.

On the other hand, my dad doesn't understand it but fully accepts me and tries his hardest to be supportive. He's the best dad anyone could ever ask for if I say so myself. On the topic of good parents, let's talk about my mom!

God this has turned into a ranting page..

My mom is bisexual, and she would be here but sadly, she doesn't love my dad like my dad loves her. For her it was teenage love, or puppy love. She loves me and my sister no matter what we are, we could be serial killers and she'd hide us away from the cops. Anyways, when she had to take care of two children at twenty, she spiraled down the hole of depression. My dad tried his hardest to keep her safe and make her happy but soon she got her hands on some very bad drugs. It was really bad considering I was only about eight at the time, and my dear sister was only six. Soon enough she couldn't take the mother life anymore and ran away. Right now she's trying to get her life back together, she's in rehab and has a really sweet partner. Though I wish she was here, I understand how hard it was for her and I understand her decisions. She's almost 31 now and she pays for child support, or at least tries her hardest to. My dad doesn't pay much attention to the times where it's not the full amount, because you know, he still cares for her. So now my dad is single in a nice cozy home in the woods with three dogs, and a nice little pond where he can fish and relax. Honestly I couldn't ask for anything else, I feel like there's a reason it's this way.

I might hangout with a few friends and skate tomorrow, we'll just have to see I guess.

Later(8 PM)

Oh my god.

I hate my aunt. Scratch that, I hate my family(except for my parents of course).

Alright, so what happened is super fucking ironic. Right after I finished writing in here and put this stupid thing up, my aunt starts yelling at us to clean up because "apparently" we  are lazy little shits. So I was being over worked considering the fact I've been on my feet for the  past two(ish) days. The only breaks I've gotten are sleeping,showering and at my dads(for only about four hours.) So anyways we are cleaning and shit, when of course dad had to get there. He comes by to bring us home and letting us 'get away' you know, because he cares for us. Then I feel like shit because we're making him wait even though he's already tired from trying to provide enough money for us all day since four in the morning. So I'm feeling like shit, while also being stressed, causing me to get angry easier, and then yelling at my family members. Finally after maybe thirty minutes we are finished and we hop in the car ready to go. BUT OF COURSE my aunt just has to call me back in to complain that my art stuff isn't "organized" I stood there in shock when she told me this. I just ignored her and ran back outside, telling my dad that it was nothing of his concern. So he started driving and in the rear view mirror, I could see my shitty aunt yelling incoherent words. Then I chuckled to myself as I turned the radio up. I FELT SO BADASS HOLY SHIT!! I'm so proud of myself, right now I'm in my room, writing this, obviously. But c'mon, the had to be so fucking badass of me, right?? Even though I'm in deep shit when I go back later, I'll bask in my coolness for now.

Well, that's it.

See ya!