And So It Repeats

Chapter One

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
That's how the cycle goes.

I look down at the pad of paper in my lap. Recommend by my therapist, she suggests that I make lists. Goals, I guess is a better word. This list, titled "Goals for the First Week of College" sits completely blank. Apart from the title of course.

Yup. I'm a college student. Freshman year. Shoved to this new place against my will by the two captors driving me.. My parents.

I guess that wasn't a fair statement. Obviously it had to be myself who applied. But my intention was just to please them. I had no wish of actually going. But everyone told me this would be a great opportunity. Finding a new place, and hope that forcing people my age around me would get me to come out and do things.

Do you know how many accidents happen at colleges

I like to be safe, but I don't feel like college is at all safe. Trapped on campus for hours while people make stupid choices. But many people would kill for the college experience. But I don't think it's worth dying for.

I'd like to be a nurse. At the end of the day, I know I'm doing everything to save myself from the end, but other people aren't as lucky as myself to know to keep themself safe. And I feel if I help others it'll help me make a longer life for myself.
Everyone around me says I should be a statistician. Just my ability to recall events, but I don't follow the numbers. One occurrence of something is enough.

The first thing on my list of goals is to make sure that my roommate is safe. I need a roommate who isn't going to harm me, but also keep me from hard. Which isn't really something you can put on those roommate application forums. I don't need a friend, just to tolerate them.

Pulling up to the university there are big banners displaying the name. Howard University. Kids are buzzing in and out of buildings. Shooting across parking lots with carts filled with their dorm essentials. It was a madhouse to say the least.

Rolling down the window at the beaming woman decked out in HU apparel, my dad stated my name so we could get my keys and know where to do.

"West. Sydni West" he said.

It took her a minute to find my name, but it was obvious when she did. Her eyes narrowed and she made a quick glance to she backseat, presumably looking for me. Did I have any idea why? Nope. But it made me uneasy. Already there was something about me making me a target. My palms began to sweat and I had to wipe them on my palms. The more people that know me, and better yet hate me, the more of a risk I get for dangerous situations. People often don't go looking for randos when looking to hurt.

I shrugged it off. In layman's terms, my therapist calls me a 'mental masturbator'. One thought leads into another and it just keeps progressing with no real end and no good that comes from it. Sure, I'm conscious of this. But it doesn't mean it's easy to stop.

It took us a while to find my room. My parents had me lead the way with the map of the campus while they pulled the carts behind me. Unlike the other kids, we were calm. Looked both ways before crossing the street. But after some struggling we finally found it. And after a little more time after that we were all set up for goodbyes. My roommate was no where to be found, but that was for another moment.

"Get out there Sydni" my mom said, giving me the look I knew all to well.

With a nod, trying not to let the tears fall, I waved them out the door.

Exactly 3 hours after my parents left there was a knock in my door. It was odd, I don't know anyone here. I said nothing, and a few moments later the door swung open. I could have swore it was locked. Next thing I knew a head peaked through the door, jingling their keys. I don't know why someone would knock if they had keys. A face popped in, a wide grin on the face. Brown hair. Dark eyes. And the first words out of the mouth already confirmed that I was screwed.

"Hello" the voice said "I'm Elliot. Your roomie"

Postnote
Hello everyone! Welcome to the beginning. Please leave some comments and let me know what you're thinking.
Buckle up. It's going to be an interesting ride!
-Eleanor