Which Star (Harry Styles story)

One.

Feb. 14, 2013, Entry One-Harry

Tour starts in a few days...I've been preparing myself for the goodbye. I already miss you. It's bittersweet...you know. I do love the fans...so much. But I love you as much, maybe more. You know, you were once just a fan. I remember the exact day.

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It was in December, on the Up All Night tour. You traveled all the way to London just to see me and the guys. I saw you outside the arena, and I wondered a bit on who you were. With the boys ahead of me, I had to get myself back into action, and I rushed into the doors to get prepped.

I'll be honest, though. I didn't want to go in, I wanted to go up to you to say hello. But my judgement got the best of me, and I regret not coming up to you first. Little of knowing I'd see you again that same night.

I found myself thinking about that girl in the crowd...who was she? What did she think of me? All these questions. But I always had a lot of questions, about everything. So I snapped out of it, and focused on how great the stage was going to be. All the screaming fans...it always gave me this weird rush.

But though I was trying to focus, I kept getting distracted. Who was that girl? I sat on our red couch and just went into some zone of thinking. Time flew. Next thing I knew, it was time to board the stage.

"C'mon Harry. We gotta go." Niall shouted. His Irish accent threw me off, like I wasn't used to it. His accent always charmed the ladies...did mine? I cleared my voice and replied.

The stage was as exhillerating as always, but I was always looking around, looking for something.Trying to find you, I realized soon. Cliche sounding, I know. But I was. I really was.

After a concert that seemed to drag, though I loved it, we all went backstage to cool down. It get's hot up there. So I decided I'd take a shower.

Once again, I was thinking about you. I thought about if actually meeting you was an option. I hoped things like I was your favorite guy. Just silly things.

"Hey! Harry!" Louis called. "Get the hell outta there! There's a fan waiting."

A fan? Was it her?

"Can't I get dressed first?" 

"Do it fast." He quieted down a bit. I heard the cutest giggle come from outside the door, and then a curious little "Is he naked?". I laughed, got dressed, and dried my hair.

I walked out, with high hopes. I peered my head around the corner and there you were. Eyes widened, those big brown eyes. A beautiful smile greeting me. I was so happy, seeing you there, Leigh.

You were wearing dark skinny jeans, a simple grey tank, and curled hair. You looked so...unexplainable. I knew it was love at first sight...I felt it.

And right away, you're beautiful voice half whispered, "Hi Harry."

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I remember that day and still feel the butterflies. From you agreeing to text me, to the first date, to the first kiss, to being completely in love with you.

God Leigh...I am really going to miss those beautiful eyes of yours.

  Feb. 19, 2013, Entry two- Harry

I held you in my arms last night, like usual. You were so cold. I didn't know why. Maybe it was because you knew I was leaving in 3 days. Or maybe you just were really cold. Maybe both.