I can't figure out how to eat cereal in the shower. I mean, it's not that I can't keep from getting shower water in it, I invented a machine that can cover and uncover my bowl at just the right time, while also guarding my spoon from the stream of water. The problem is, I keep getting shampoo in my eyes and ramming the spoon into every part of my face that isn't my mouth. Just 3 days ago I tried again, this time with a blindfold and similar results, when I heard the pitter patter of neck bones breaking against a rose bush. I knew right away that someone had broken their neck on my rose bush. I dressed quickly, stumbling around and falling while putting my pants on because the blindfold was still wet, and I didn't want to take it off, and ran to the kitchen window. There he was, Ashton Washton, rocking back and forth on my yellow roses.
