Your not alone (niam)

chapter 9

A/N sorry it took so long to update! I had the flu and my grampa had another heart attack and is back in the hospital. :'( i'll try to update more frequently. When i logged on to wattpad i saw that i had 430 reads and 23 votes :) i hate to admit it but i did a little happy dance around my room lolz :) Now i really want to hear what you guys think of this chapter. I love reading your comments and i would love to hear what you guys think and i will also be starting a new story here soon so i'll make sure to let you know when it is up :) Ok this is getting to be a long author's note so i will stop ranting now. I love you all!!

I was in no way prepared to see Niall sitting against the wall slicing away at his wrist. I faintly heard Zayn call out his name before Louis ran forward and ripped the blade from his hand before throwing it across the room.

I could here Louis asking Niall why but my head was still in a fog. I snapped out of my dazed state when I heard Niall growl. “I wasn’t done yet.”

He lunged towards the blade but Louis held him back from it and Harry grabbed it before he could get his hand on it. This isn’t the Niall I know. Where is the happy guy I met on X-factor? As I came out of my thoughts I heard Zayn ask Niall “Please Niall just tell us why?”

I waited to see if he would answer but it soon became apparent that he was just going to sit there so I knelt down in front of him besides Zayn and said “Please Niall! For me?” It was liked my voice flicked a switch inside of him because a moment later he exploded at us.

“You want to know why I started cutting? Why do you think?!? I’m gay! When I told my family my dad was disgusted with me. He won’t even look at me anymore let alone talk to me. I haven’t talked to my dad in years! I hate the fact that I’m gay I just want to be normal!

If that wasn’t bad enough I fell in love with someone I can never have. I just want to feel something and cutting helps and now that you know you are all going to hate me like everyone else does. And I wish I could tell you that’s all that’s wrong but it’s not. I’m also borderline anorexic. I’ve been starving myself trying to be perfect.”

He was sobbing into hands by the time he finished yelling. I stood up and backed away till I was leaning against the opposite wall. I could hear the others talking to Niall but I couldn’t bring myself to pay attention to what they were saying. My mind was busy trying to figure out all that I had heard. Niall’s dad doesn’t talk to him?

He is anorexic? How could I not notice this!? How could I not see how much pain he was in? I love him and yet I couldn’t see how he was pulling away from us. Wait! He thought he couldn’t have me?

That’s one of the reasons he was cutting? I looked over at him to see that Zayn had pulled him into a hug. I reached out and pulled him into my arms. I opened my eyes to see the others leave the room to give us some alone time.

He pulled away and looked around and noticed that the others were gone. “Where did the others go?” he asked. I smiled and said “Niall we need to talk.” I could see him panicking at what I had just said so I just rushed into what I had to say.

“Niall I have a confession to make… I’m gay and I’m in love with someone too. Well not just someone… Niall I’m in love with you. I have been for awhile.” I looked down at my feet and waited for his answer. Next thing I knew my cheek was burning and my head was forced to the side from the force from the slap. I looked up at Niall in shock.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? This isn’t a joke! How dare you sit there and say you’re in love with me!” He yelled before running out of the bathroom. All I could do was stand there and watch.

I ran out of the bathroom and down the hall until I ended up in the back room. I quickly shut the door and locked it. I can’t believe that Liam would make such a horrible joke. The funny thing is I’m completely in love with him which just made it hurt even more that he was the one to play the prank on me.

I could feel the tears running down my face. I jumped when all of a sudden someone started banging on the door. I could hear all of the boys banging on the door yelling for me to open up.

“Just go away! I don’t want to talk to you!” I yelled through the door. “What about me? Just me. None of the others will come in it will just be me and you Niall.” Zayn said through the door.

“Just you?” I said back. “Just me.” He replied. I got up from where I had sat down on the couch and unlocked the door before slowly opening it. I looked down at my feet and waited for Zayn to walk into the room before shutting the door and locking it again.

I walked back over to the couch and slumped back onto it while I waited for Zayn to start speaking. “Liam wasn’t joking with you Niall. He really does love you.” I snorted at that.

“No he doesn’t. It makes no sense for him to love me. Even if he is gay he could have any man in the world why on earth would he want me?” I said angrily.

“Niall listen to me! Liam told us before he came out to you in the bathroom. When you told everyone you were gay you left before you could see his face. He had the hugest smile on his face. He is head over heels for you. He has loved you for a long time he was just afraid you wouldn’t love him back.”

He moved to where he was standing in front of me. “C’mon Niall you know what I’m saying is true. Just talk to him.” Zayn pleaded with me.

I looked up into his eyes. “He really does love me?” I asked tentatively. He just nodded his head yes. I took a deep breathe and said “Ok. I’ll talk to him.”

“Everything is going to be ok Niall. Trust me.” Zayn said as he walked over to the door. He unlocked it and opened it and said “Liam, Niall wants to talk to you.” I stared down at the floor not ready to see his face.

“I’m sorry that I hit you.” I said after a long pause. “It’s ok Niall. I wasn’t lying to you in the bathroom. I do love you.”

I gulped before replying “I don’t see how. I’m me and you’re you. You could have any guy and instead you love me. I just can’t see why.” He sat down next to me and gently grabbed my chin forcing me to look at him.

“Niall you are perfect to me. I love the way your eyes light up when you laugh. I love the way you can make me laugh. I love how I feel like when ever I’m with you anything is possible. I love you just the way you are.”

I could feel myself tearing up at the words he was saying to me. “I love you to Liam I was just afraid of what would happen.” I said while looking into his eyes. “You don’t have to be afraid anymore Niall. I will always be here for you no matter what and I will never stop loving you.”

I closed my eyes not being able to stand seeing all the emotions in his eyes. “Niall please open your eyes.” He asked. I slowly opened my eyes to see him staring at me. He let go of my chin and moved to where he was on his knees in front of me. “Niall… Will you go out with me?”