Gore Oneshots [Any Requests]

Janus- Overdose

Requested by:
sleepyghostbear

TW's/CWs:
-Suicide / Unalive attempt
-Written from experience
-Failed pill overdose
-Emetophobia warning

Fandom used:
Sanders Sides

Character(s) used:
Janus Sanders (Deceit)

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His day was fine.

He was fine.

He didn't understand why it his thoughts began to swarm his mind and send him spiraling deep within his own intrusive thoughts.
Everything was fine, nothing was wrong, why now?

Why when he stepped into the kitchen, grabbed his medication bottle just before he began his night routine did the thoughts swarm and begin to surround him in a jumble of various outcomes come flooding through his mind.

His eyes glanced down, the cap twisted open and somewhere on the kitchen counter. Glass of half drunk cider left abandoned on the surface just beside the cap as he hesitated.
Looking back down at his hands, slowly tipping the bottle into his palm, watching the pills tip out and promptly fall into his gloved hand.

Patton was just in the other room, in the living room right next door to the kitchen. What if he walked in on him?
What would he do?
Would he.. stop him?

No.. no, are you kidding?

He didn't care of him. No, he was kidding himself. Janus paused again, absentmindedly tapping over each pill within his palm with his thumb. Counting each one. 10.

No.. no, it can't be ten.

He tipped the bottle again.
11.

Perfect, uneven. Huh.. even when he was considering attempting to put himself to sleep for hopefully a long time yet.. he still couldn't bring himself to have even numbers of well.. anything.

It made his skin crawl. Even numbers that is. He never understood why, never diagnosed for anything, nothing. Maybe he was just being stupid, perhaps.. Perhaps he was just thinking too much of numbers constantly without meaning to. Maybe.

Could have stemmed from his past of counting calories. Maybe that.. he wasn't sure, but.. that didn't matter now.

He placed down the pill bottle, letting the dull sound of a few left over pills rattle within. Picking up his glass and taking a mouthful of the cider, feeling the bitter cold liquid send tingles down his spine. Shuddering lightly before tilting his head back and promptly dumping the pills in his mouth, tongue slowly counting over each one before he swallowed.

The burn following was expected, he had tried this before afterall, different pills though.

Janus took a minute to fully make sure he had swallowed every one. Huh.. every single one digested in one mouthful. A shaky smile etched it's way onto his face. He was proud. Just from that.

He allowed a silent chuckle to escape his lips as he lifted his glass again, finishing off the rest of the alcohol before placing the cup into the sink.
Someone else could deal with it later, he didn't care, if he was successful this time he wouldn't have to worry about it after all.

Janus sighed heavily, stepping out of the kitchen, throwing a half-hearted 'goodnight' to Patton before slowly making his way up to his room.
He took his time, letting the pills take their time, it normally took a while to react afterall.
He slowly stalked his way upstairs, counting each step along the way, he had to. He made sure not to count any wrong or miss a step or number along the way before reaching the second floor.

Pausing to double check over the number he had counted as he turned, glaring down at the staircase to slowly count them once again. Then again before his brain was satisfied.

Soon turning to walk to the bathroom, counting steps again, successfully counting them with an uneven number as he shakily let out a breath of relief.
Though having to wait outside the bathroom after hearing a voice from inside telling him to 'hold on'. Virgil. Most likely, he took his time in the bathroom afterall, patiently waiting outside the door as he leaned against the wall.

Resting his head back as he closed his eyes. He didn't know how long he had been stood there in the dark hallway until the door soon clicked open, Virgil slowly shrugging past him muttering a quiet 'night' before disappearing through the dark presumably to his room.

Janus shrugged it off, making his way inside the bathroom, eyes squinting att the bright light as he closed the door behind himself. Though once he had finished brushing his teeth he began feeling the tale-tell signs of the urge to throw up.
Vision beginning to spin as he shrugged it off, reaching to mindlessly begun flossing his teeth. He was gonna at least pass out looking good at least, or well.. that's what he told himself.
Throwing the floss afterwards as he sighed, hands gripping onto the sink as he took a deep breath.

The room continuing to spin around him as he tightened his grip on the porcelain sink, knuckles whitening with his grip as he groaned. His stomach gurgling in discomfort as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other.
"You're alright.. t's fine, shake it off,"
He murmured, trying to reassure himself though.. his body refusing to listen.

Quickly turning on the tap to drown out the sounds of him throwing up. More so for his own sake as he hunched over, body involuntarily up-chucking the little contents of his stomach into the sink. Feeling his torso and chest constrict with each gip and gurgle that escaped him.
Squeezing his eyes shut as he threw up, shakily reaching out to turn the water off once he finished. Trembling hands clinging onto the sink as he could see the puke where the water hadn't washed it away.

No sign of the pills.

He glanced over the sink plug hole, blocked shut. No sign of the pills yet again, he groaned. Just seeing the pink and red tinted vomit made his stomach churn again. Shakily gripping onto the sink yet again as his body expelled the rest of his stomach's content as he weakly whimpered.

Eventually having enough strength to stand back up, shaky hands washing down the puke from the sink's sides and such before he washed his face with clean water. Just.. swirling mouthwash around his mouth before popping in his retainers and calling it a night.

Double checking the sink was properly clean and that there was no sign he had thrown up a few minutes prior before turning off the light and stumbling down to his room.

Everything was fine.

He weakly forced a smile to himself, climbing into bed, feeling his head spin as he laid down. Keeping his head still and pillow flat as he turned off the lamp and slowly allowing himself to drift off to a painful sleep. Throat burning and stomach continuing to churn, though he remained still, laying on his back just in case he had to get back up again.

He knew if he had thrown up some of the pills he would at least have some of the side effects the next morning.

oh what bliss..

He couldn't help but be addicted to the constant stumbling, loss of balance.. fuzzy and blurred vision, the constant feeling of light-headedness and well.. the.. the guilt he felt after a failed night.

It was addictive, yet..

He couldn't help but feel guilty each time, he felt embarrassed after every failed night, every failed attempt but.. the guilt just made him thrive for more.
He adored it, yet.. hated it at the same time.

what the fuck is wrong with you?

The thought alone sent butterflies swarming through his chest before he dozed off into a heavy and drug dazed rest with only one last thought following. As if responding to his last thought, a satisfied smirk ghosting his lips.

a lot of fucking things.