Omega to Alpha

Chapter 22

Emory

It's been four days since my life came crashing down. Four days since my son was taken from me.

And today we are burying him.

Annalise and Lauren dressed me in a black gown, but I was barely there myself.

I'd turned into a shell of my former self. Sleeping most of the day, blocking my feelings, and barely eating. I knew everyone was worried about me, but I couldn't find it in me to care.

All I cared about was my son. And that he was dead because of me.

"Alright," Lauren's voice broke through. "You're ready."

No I'm not. I'll never be ready for today. I may be dressed, but I was not ready to put my son in the ground. To say goodbye one last time.

The girls slipped out and I was left staring into space. A pair of arms slipped around my waist and I leaned back into the comfort of my mate's chest.

"We have to go," he choked out.

A tear slid down my face, but I took Brenden's hand and we walked downstairs to say goodbye to our son.

The service was small, friends and family only, and didn't last long. Soon I was standing in front of my son's open casket. His eyes were closed and if I tried really hard, I could almost pretend that he was just sleeping. But there was no denying his pale face and lack of breath. He was gone forever.

I leaned down and placed one last kiss on Luca's forehead.

"I love you baby boy," I said through tears. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you."

I stepped back and let Brenden say his goodbyes. Together, we watched our boy be lowered into the earth where he would lay forever and I couldn't help the sobs that escaped from me. Brenden held me tight as we cried together, long after everyone else left.

After hours of crying, my tears ceased and the numbness returned.

"It should be me," I whispered and Brenden's arms tighetened around me.

"Don't say that."

"It's true. It was supposed to be me and it's my fault he's dead."

I could feel Brenden's hurt, but I couldn't stop the words from escaping me. I couldn't keep them in anymore. They needed out. And now that they were I was exhausted.

Brenden lifted me into his arms and carried me back to our room. He silently helped me change into one of his shirts and we climbed into bed together.

I was floating in the pitch black sky with only the stars illuminating it.

I was surrounded by nothingness, but I couldn't find it in me to care.

Am I dead? Did my wish to take Luca's place come true?

"No my child."

I turned and saw a beautiful woman made of light. She seemed so familiar to me and it took me a moment to grasp who I was speaking to.

"Is there anything you can do?" I begged.

"I'm sorry my child, what's done is done. There's no going back."

"It's all my fault," I confessed to the beautiful figure.

"That's where you are wrong. Luca knew what he was doing, he wanted to save you the way you saved him."

I shook my head. "He shouldn't have."

The woman stepped forward and gently held my face in her hands.

"I know it hurts my child, but your boy is happy and safe."

I let out a shuddering breath. At least there was that. At least now I knew. But there was one question that I was too afraid to ask.

"No," she said, somehow knowing the question I hadn't voiced. "It didn't hurt. I may not have been able to save your pup, but I made sure he felt no pain as he passed into the afterlife."

I sighed in relief and felt the world start to fade around me. The woman took a step back but I called out to her.

"Wait!" She turned back to me. "Can I see him one last time?"

The woman gave me a motherly smile and nodded. She motioned to a nearby star and it turned into my boy, laughing and playing just like he used to with me.

He really is ok.

And knowing that, he faded from my sight one last time.

I woke up with tears streaming down my face.

"Em?"

"He's ok," I cried, throwing myself into Brenden's arms.

"Who?"

"Luca! He's ok!"

Brenden looked at me like I was crazy and I realized I hadn't explained.

"She came to me Brenden. The Moon Goddess came to me. She showed him to me. He's really ok."

It sounded crazy and I was worried Brenden wouldn't believe me, but he just grabbed my face and cried there with me. 

"He's ok," he repeated. "We're going to be ok."

And for the first time since Luca died, it truly felt like it.