Butterflies(Thomas Raggi)

it's going to be okay..(maybe)

BEFORE YOU READ: a lot of terrible shit happens. if youre bad with that kind of stufd, do NOT read this. PLEASE do NOT say i didn't warn you.

The nurse had told me that she was in a coma. My heart sank. I couldn't breathe. I slowly walked away from everyone with my head down.

"Thomas, are you okay?" Vic asked me, looking very concerned.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm alright, it's just kinda hard to take this all in right now, you know?" I told her.
"Yeah i get it, i care about gab a lot too, and i really hope she's okay." Vic said.
"I better go check on damiano though, i can't imagine how he's taking the news." I told her and she nodded her head in agreement.
I went over to check on him, and he eas bawling his eyes out. He was sitting on the ground just crying.
"Are you okay?" I asked him. No answer.
I asked him again, and once again no answer.
"I'm sorry, i know what you're going through. I-i loved her too and-" he cut me off.
"You don't get it. You don't fucking get it! Gab is the only family i have that actually gives one fuck about me. The only one that ever has! My parents hate my guts and you guys are good to me but not even close to her. She is my everything, she's the only reason that i keep going. I mean, even if she does live, she's paralyzed and i don't even know if she would remember me, or any of us. None of this even matters. If i wouldn't have been so god damn stupid this wouldn't have happened in the first place! So no, you don't get it thomas. You don't fucking get it and you never will. So please, just fucking leave me alone." He spit at me, sobbing stressfully and barely getting the words out.
Vic walked up to me and asked if i was okay.
"I hope she dies." I told her.
"Thomas what the fuck! Why the hell would you ever say that? You can't just give up! We want her to live, rigbt? Why would y-" i cut her off.
"Vic, listen. I think it would be better if she just died. She won't remember any of us and she can never even walk again, so why should she be alive? The last thing i want is for her to suffer. And damiano is heartbroken, i think he might just kill himself. Gab would be much better off dead." I told her, holdong back tears.
"Thomas...i- you can't just say that!" She began to cry, "you can't just fucking say that! Fuck you! You're fucking sick! You're fuc-" and then she broke down into tears and ran down the hall.

Future thomas:
That night was a blur. After my encounter with damiano, it made me think hard about life. I think i smoked about 5 packs that night. I couldn't stop thinking about how upset he would be, i couldn't handle it. But, i guess they're both out of their misery now.

It hurt to see the people i care about most cry. After that, i went out for a smoke because i needed a break after all this. I walked around the city a lot in the middle of the night, thinking hard about what had happened. I had been out for hours, because when i got back i couldn't believe it.

The nurses basically told us that gab was going to die. We didn't want to believe it, but we all knew it deep down. When damiano heard it, he just went crazy and tried killing himself, and he eventually got put in the mental hospital for life. None of us ever saw him again. I wish it didnt happen that way, but it did. After damiano went crazy, the band split up. Victoria went her separate ways and traveled the world with her girlfriend and never came back to italy. Ethan moved to America and started his new life there. I stayed in italy, i never gave up hope on gab. And i guess i made a bad decision, because 8 long years after all of this happened, i got the phone I've been waiting for for the longest time. They couldn't get ahold of anyone else, so they called me. They told me that after gab had fought for her life for all these years, she finally died a peaceful death.
Even after all of this, i don't know how i still survive. Even 20 years after this as a middle aged man, i never heard from victoria, ethan, and definitely not damiano again. I had a feeling that this was gonna happen. I quit smoking a drinking, and now i live in a cottage in northern italy in the mountains. No one ever finds me there.
Most people would give up on life, but i know she will have an amazing time up in heaven.

But then, i got a phone call. It was vic. She was calling from an Italian cell phone number.
"Hey thomas,is this you?" She asked.
"Sure is,but how did you find me?"
"I have my ways," she replied
"Did you hear that gab died?" I asked
"Well yeah, it was 12 years ago,' she said
"Sorry, i just wasn't sure," i told her
"It's fine. I haven't been able to contact ethan anywhere. And damiano jumped out the window of the mental hospital and killed himself," she told me
"I didn't know that part of the story," i told her
"Yeah, it was just last week. I thought I'd fly back to italy to say hello," she said
"Oh, okay" i replied
"Wanna jam sometime, i have my bass with me," she said
"Oh, i forgot how to play since all of this happened," i told her
"I didn't, it helps me cope. I even picked up a few things on guitar, i could teach you," she said
"Sure, sounds good!" I said.
"Well see you sometime. You wanna lnow somethibg tho?"  She said
"Hm?" i said
"Im madly in love with you. I have been ever since the moment i laid eyes on you." And she hung up.
And that was the last time anyone had ever spoken to Victoria De Angelis.
*insert where is my mind by the pixies*

the end

Butterflies- Thomas Raggi
@johnnycadeswife xx❤❤