On Tour | c.c & s.m

68

July 2020, Toronto

Camila

"Are you sure you packed everything?" "Yes, I'm sure."" Dont you want to eat something before your flight?" "No, its 4 in the morning... I am unable to eat right now.... I'm also excited and nervous. And besides, I have snacks and my water." I said, going through my bag in the car. We were on our way tot he airport and I hadnt even closed my eyes tonight, not able to slept all... thoughts keeping me awake. And it was showing that I hadnt slept... my face looked horrible. But I would be with Shawn again.... and that kept my spirits up... at least a little.

"I love you mama, I'll text you as soon as I land." I said, pulling her into a tight embrace. She kissed my cheek and caressed my back a little before letting me walk into the direction of my check in and boarding gate. I only had my small back Chanel bag pack with my most important documents along with one small water bottle and a bag of salty crackers. Just enough to get me through my flight. I also had my iPad in an extra bag in my hand to watch some movies and write down stuff.

'Taking off right now, I love you and see you soon.' I texted before turning on airplane mode and leaning back in my seat. I had a first class seat with no one next to me.... it was making me even more anxious. I'm scared of flying anyways and alone.... draining and nerve wracking.

As soon as we started rolling onto the tarmac and the plane started picking up speed, I got super anxious, bopping my leg up and down, clutching my hands together and digging my nails into my palms until I felt blood dripping out of the small cuts. The pressure changed, making my head and ears hurt. Probably a result of not enough sleep as well. I leaned back, closing my eyes to stop the uncomfortable sensations until the pressure was steady and the plane had reached its maximum height. "Are you okay Miss?" A flight attendant suddenly stood next to my seat, looking kindly at me. I hadnt realized I had my eyes tightly shut and was breathing irregular. "I- yeah- I just.... I'm okay." I reassured her after looking at her." "You look a bit pale. Maybe try to calm down a little. Do you want some water?" "Yes... some water would be good.... thank you." I said. She nodded and came back a few minutes later with iced water. "Thank you so much." I thanked her, taking the cup out of her hand and drinking. "If you need anything, turn on this light. Try to keep calm so you wont hyperventilate." "I will, thank you." She nodded one last time before making her rounds around the isles. Well, that was incredibly embarrassing. I sunk deeper into my seat, leaning back and looking out the window which only made me nauseous so I closed my eyes, trying to forget that I was on a plane. My anxiety on a plane had never been this bad... I definitely need sleep.... 6 more hours to go, then I'm with Shawn.... back in his arms.

"Please prepare for landing." A deep voice awoke me. I had in in a light sleep, waking up every now and then too easily, not really giving me the chance to actually get some rest. I shifted in my seat, looking around. It was a little dark outside, the sun was just coming up considering it was almost 6 am in Toronto. I gathered my few things and packed them back into my bag, seeing the still full water bottle and the unopened package of crackers. I hadnt eaten a single thing. I could eat with Shawn later. The rest of my stuff was all packed up and I put my seat in its starting position before getting ready to land in Toronto.

I picked up my heavy suitcase, barely being able to get it off the assembly line. A nearby standing man helped me and I thanked him a few times. I was drained.... extremely tired and thirsty. But I need to get out go here first. Too many people. With my hood on and glasses I walked tot he check out toor and then to the private park area where I knew Shawn would be picking me up. I hadnt turned off airplane mode yet but I knew I needed to so I could ask Shawn if he was here already. I stood in a corner of the airport to not be noticed while I waited for my phone to get service again and to text Shawn. Hopefully no one recognizes me. 'Just landed. Are you here?' And a few second later luckily, I got the confirmation that he had just parked, telling me where exactly so I could walk into his direction. I was too tired to even be excited but I knew feeling him against me would calm me down.

"Mila baby." I heard his voice when the sliding door so the parking lot opened. I smiled a little, walking into his direction. Finally. "Come here baby.... wow. I missed you." He pulled me into a hug, kissing first my head and then my lips softly, before embracing me again, making me fall lip into his arms because I felt super tired. "I missed you so much." He whispered. "I missed you too... but can we maybe go? I'm tired of being in the airport and around so many people." I mumbled. "Of course, come." He took my suitcase into the hand that wasn't intertwined with mine as we made our way to his car.

We didnt really talk while driving back because I felt completely drained and was unable to form proper words, my eyes always closing and opening. "Oh baby, you're super tired...." He said quietly, placing his hand over mine on my lap. "Yeah... super tired." I whispered.

"Come on, let's go upstairs here you can rest" He helped me carry my stuff and then it was all blurry for me until I got undressed, slipped into one of his big shirts and got under the covers. "You need anything? Water? Tea? Some food?" "No... just you..." he smiled, undressed and got in next to me, spooning me. "I missed you." I kissed my nosed and I then placed my head on his chest and let him hold me. "Missed you too." I mumbled. We then shared another gentle and tender kiss before I was finally able to close my eyes and actually sleep for a bit as his hands wrapped around my torso, pulling me closer.

Shawn

I was so glad to have her back with me. I was excited the whole wee for her to come back and now that she was actually with me, I was overjoyed. Still... I could see some changes in her. She looked so sad... and tired. And another thing I noticed really shocked me. As we were laying in my bed, her already asleep with her head in my chest, I moved my hands around her torso to feel her close to me. I was shocked... I could feel her ribs and and her spine was super prominent. I had also seen her face change... apart from the dark circles, sunken in cheeks, showing her cheek bones. Her hands that were resting on my chest had small cuts in her palms and I knew why.... Her wrists were not thicker than probably Aaliyah wrists, a child's wrist... and she hadnt been wearing any rings... her fingers were slimmer. She barely weighted anything laying on me. Oh god... I am so worried. And that caused me to not be able to sleep but just look at her small figure. I felt the need to protect her... While she's here, I want her to feel better. "I love you." I whispered, brushing the hair out of her face and kissing her forehead, my other hand caressing her boney back.

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University exams are coming um so I probably wo t update much once again ugh I'm sorry!
i still enjoy my books very much and still enjoy reading shawmila!