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I sent Tee off to the station.. When I came back, Copter's room was totally dark but I'm glad it's not locked.
"Baby.."
I called as I saw his silhouette curled up on the floor..
"Let's talk.."
I know he's not cowering in fear of me.. He never does.. And I know he never will..
"Don't turn on the lights.."
This is not the first time he acted this way.. But, it's a first for me not to know the reason.
"I won't.. But.. Will you let me hug you at least?"
I heard him sniffed, and since he didn't answer No, I came to kneel and pull him to my lap.. He avoided to let me see his face and just hid on my neck..
"I know you don't want to see me cry.. But let me cry.."
He uttered before breaking a wept that truly send my heart to a damn chaos..
All I can do is to listen.. And that's exactly the reason why I'm so gaddamn mad of myself for not knowing what's happening.. Cop was not yet ready to talk, and I know he wished this moment for him to pour his heart, so I have to endure it..
I have to wait for him.
And struggle on the agony of what makes him like this.
Then there were fragments flashed in my head. The days before we became lovers.. I remember spending them a lot with Ter since, I'm a lot on edge when I realized what our life would be after graduating high school.
I used to never think or consider to be separated from him but, I know if he learned I took the same degree because of him, he might never forgive himself of what trash will happen to me.
Then that day arrived, while waiting for the sunset to end and night came.. Ter asked,
"What if I say I like you.."
During that time, I didn't consider anymore what will happen.. I just jump into it since..
I was planning to ask it to him that same night.
I'm a coward.. all those years afraid he'll change.. He'll reject me.. And to be away from him but.. If he ever refuse me.. I might be able to survive my days with an excuse in mind that those changes and distance are because we're in college.
