WLW imagines

Sexuality crisis? No thanks:

This did happen to me recently. I have written out and based this one, on something that happened to me quite recently, but I have made a few minor tweaks here and there. Enjoy!

You run up with your best friend to wait at the 3D digital art exhibition entrance you've been waiting weeks to see. The anticipation rages inside you like a sailor on the sea, you look around to take in the size of the building and stop. Just for a second, you look, not stare but look at a lesbian couple waiting nearer the entrance of the building. No. Stop fucking looking it's weird. You force yourself out of your trance and start talking to your friend again, but they won't leave your head. That doesn't usually happen, you've seen gay couples before. I mean, for fucks sake you're bisexual so you're far from homophobic, so what are you feeling... you get dragged into the entrance by your wrist by your friend to get into line to enter the exhibition. Ok, you don't need to focus on anything else, just this. Try not to think about it! The doors open, and your wait is over...

The lights and noise are incredible, projections of patterns litter the wall and you don't know where to look. There's so much surrounding you... there they are again, fucks sake.

You watch them smile at each other and grab the other's hand, clutching it tightly as if the world was ending. "Hey, look at this!", your friend's voice makes you look at the floor she was watching, you hadn't even realized that the projections spread to the floor. Woah.. it was making you feel a little dizzy but in a good way. Imagine bringing someone on a date here, it'd be so cool... no, shut up. You turn to a stranger and ask her to take a picture of you and your friend, she kindly agrees and takes your phone, you and your friend pose for this picture and you thank the lady checking the photo. It's a nice photo, you better send it to your partner. You look up and see the couple again, for god's sake. Stop fucking looking, you're gonna make them uncomfortable, they probably get enough stares from homophobes as it is. They do not need someone else doing it too.

After a while, you and your friend exit the building and talk about how incredible the show was, "definitely worth the money we paid." Your friend says when you sit down. "But I noticed something."

"What?" You reply.

"You wouldn't stop looking at the gay couple who were in there, are you ok?" She looks at you slightly worried.

You sigh and run a hand through your hair, "They looked so happy and cute and I don't know I think I just want that."

"But you've got your partner? You've got that."

"Yeah but it's not the same, I think I want it with..."

"With...." She looks at you expectantly when something clicks in your mind like someone has flipped a switch in your head.

"With a woman."

"Ah." Her head goes down and her hand reaches out towards yours and you just stare down at them.

"I don't think I want a relationship with anyone other than a woman, but I've found boys attractive before and I've wanted to pursue relationships with them and-" You ramble before she cuts you off.

"Yes, but when you think about getting married, who do you imagine it with?" You sigh and run both hands through your hair desperately. "And don't lie to me, because the first person you'd be lying to is yourself."

"A woman. I only think about having long-term relationships with women, and it's all so fucking confusing. I'd finally settled with bisexual but all of a sudden it's all coming right back!" You stand up and start pacing.

"You don't have to figure it all out right now (y/n), you have the rest of your life to get it all sorted." Her wise words always comforted you, but not today.

"Yeah, I guess..."

"Look, I don't know what else I can say because I'm straight and cis so I don't really and all of this but what I can say is that-"

"Look I don't wanna talk about it right now." You cut her off, stopping abruptly.

"Ok, let's go get coffee and we won't talk about it again." She stands up too and takes your hand. "You're gonna figure it out and I'm proud of you no matter what the outcome."