I WISHED to love you again || JIMIN FF

26 - Seoul

Their way back home seemed endless, neither of them were talking, absorbed in their own thought.

Nabi could not stop thinking that Jimin was being selfish going to Seoul after everything he told her and what brought him here in the first place but could she completely blame him for pursuing what he liked the most. In fact, wasn't she the one to be selfish here? Wanting to keep him for herself. I won't bear to lose him, she thought, pressing her hand in his.

Jimin was trying to put the word together in his head but no matter how we would turn it, there would be pain and tears. Wasn't he acting completely selfish in this situation? He kept telling himself that he loved her but he caved in front of the first opportunity to leave her behind. You're doing the same mistake ... Again, he thought, pressing his hands in hers.

***

"So, you're going to Seoul." They were just walking in the apartment but she could not hold it any longer, neither her tears.

Jimin did not need to say anything, she already knew. He just softly wiped the tears off her eyes but she abruptly moved away from him and turned her back on him.

"Why – Tell me why? After everything you said about not leaving me, you run away the first chance you have." She was in such pain that the words came out, and she did not try to control it. The tears were running all over her face and she felt so pathetic to act like that.

"Did not you say you regret leaving me in this other world? And here you are, about to do the same mistake again. If it was to repeat everything, I wish you would have not come and messed me up." Nabi knelt and put her head in her arms.

Each word Nabi was saying felt like a slap in Jimin's face but everything was true and he deserved it.

He did not move at all, standing in the middle of the living room, holding his arms against his chest. He could barely look at her, without feeling he would immediately break. "It does not mean anything for now, we're just going to Seoul to meet Suga." He gently replied, trying to ease the tension and reconnect with her.

She quickly faced him, looking more pissed. "Oh please, you, more than anybody else, know that it will mean more than that. You know how talented you and the others are. We both know, if you go to Seoul, you will be back to Idol life." She paused, looking for air, anger make it hard for her to breathe.

"The life you so wanted to run away from..." She spat the sentence to his face. What have I done? He could not recognize the women in front of him, with so much rage in her eyes. Was it rage, or just pain?

She was upset, he knew she would but he was still hoping that in time she would forgive him for leaving. For now, it was probably better to leave her alone, before one of them said something they would forever regret.

He went to the bathroom, he needed to wash away the guilt he was feeling right now. He kept telling himself that if Nabi would join, it meant she would forgive him but she did not... Tears mingled with hot water and Jimin stayed like this until his skin started to turn red.

When he came in their room, Nabi was already sleeping or at least acted like she was but then she slightly shivered when he laid next to her. He softly slipped his fingers along his arm and could feel her skin reacting to his touch. He pushed his luck, pulling himself closer to her and kissing her shoulder. "Please don't", she mouthed, moving her arm to push him away.

Jimin looked at her for a while until he could hear her breathing slowing down and that he was sure she was completely asleep. "I wish I could have told you all this while you could hear me but I guess it's easier this way." He sat down, playing with his hair, he was always doing that when he was nervous.

"I love you Nab, always have and probably always will and you have to trust me, that going to Seoul will not change anything. I was given an opportunity to live with you the life I never did back then and I won't waste it. Tonight, even if you can't hear it, I promise you to come back to you whatever happened." 

And to formally acknowledge his promise, he kissed her forehead.

***

The next morning, Jimin woke up early, frankly he barely has slept. Nabi was peacefully sleeping and he decided to let her, goodbye would be too painful anyway.

He tried to write a letter but nothing was coming up the right way and after several attempt, he just gave up.

He looked at the time on his phone and realized that he was already late to meet Taehyung and Jungkook at the train station.

After looking one last time to the bedroom, he silently said goodbye to Nabi before walking out of the apartment.

Nabi heard Jimin getting ready but she could not bear to tell him goodbye. When she heard the door getting closed, she felt like she lost him for good and she finally allowed herself to shed all the tears she was holding back.

All the way up to the train station, Jimin felt guilty to leave and more than once, he was tempted to go back to her. At the same time, Nabi was running to the bathroom, feeling completely sick.

While Jimin was getting on the train and left Busan, Nabi was coming out of the bathroom, holding a pregnancy test in her hands.