Late night thoughts

Jealousy

27.5.22

22.37

I'm a jealous person, but isn't everyone? Even a little bit. Even tho, it's not acceptable to show that you are jealous. Cause you always have to pretend that your life is perfect the way it is and you don't want to change anything. 

But we all have at least ones thought how our lives would be with if something was different. 'What if I was rich, or famous, or skinnier, or more beautiful?' We all have thought something like that right? 

I'm so so so jealous to my friends. They are so good at everything. They can write cool poems and song lyrics, they can draw, they are better in school than me. 

I'm also jealous to my idols. My favorite singer is famous and good looking, my favorite model is so skinny and perfect. She looks amazing without make up. She's also good at writing, taking photos, doing everything. 

I kinda secretly hope someone would be jealous to me. That they would think I'm a cool person and they want to be as good as me in something. But I'm pretty sure not...

It also feels like everyone else learns everything so fast. They start sewing clothes in May and are already perfect in December. It's not fair how I am so shitty in everything. I never learn anything. I've tried like ten different hobbies but I suck in everything. And yeah I know 'it takes time to become good.' But everyone else ALWAYS learns faster than me. 

When is it my turn to be the person everyone is jealous of. When is it my time to become perfect in everything I do after few months. When is it my turn...

-Kara