Boys Home

Seven

Therapy is fine I guess, I mean it's not bad but it's not the best either. I hate talking about my past and or what happened with my dad. Isaac understood that and we haven't talk about it at all the past few weeks. I guess it has helped a little but I still get horrible nightmares about the past and my dad. I think I was ready to talk about it with someone, so here I am sitting across from Isaac in his office.

I gulp looking everywhere trying to calm myself down. "Luke, I want you to know you have been doing great the past few weeks and you can share anything" Isaac says grabbing my attention. "I w-want to talk about two things t-today" I stutter picking at my fingers. Isaac nods and smiles giving me his full attention. "I-I have n-nightmares" I begin. "They come and go but t-they um..." I sigh. "They are memories of w-when my d-dad a-a-abused m-me" I finally say out loud. It's felt amazing to tell someone but I can't help but cry. "They g-get so bad and I j-just want them g-gone!" I sob covering my mouth with my hands.

I take a few deeps breaths then continue. "They feel s-so real" I lightly touch my hip where the massive scar is that my dad gave me. "They were real a-and they show up as nightmares" I say looking into his eyes. The amount of worried and concern in his eyes it's a lot. I remember the first night someone woke me up from a nightmare and hugged me, made me feel safe for once. Then I remember walking into Matthews room another night after one and getting into his bed with him. I blush coats my cheeks. "S-Something helps...." I say. Isaac perks up. "The guys I live with..." I chew on my bottom lip knowing my face is super red.

"They help don't they" Isaac finishes. I nod and smile. "Having them cuddle me or telling me it's okay, it helps" I admit. "All of them or just one?" Isaac asked. "All" I answer. He smiles and I look away. "That's the other thing I wanted to talk about" I mumble. "The guys you live with" He asked. "Y-yes, when they are around me I feel safe like nothing can hurt me anymore" That is true.

Just one of them being near me makes me calm. Like yesterday, I was siting in the living room at night because I woke up from a horrible nightmare. I was shaking and tears were running down my face. My knees to my chest and I just sat there not knowing what to do. The stairs creaked and I quickly look over to see Luka standing at the bottom looking at me. He says nothing and sits next to me resting his head on my shoulder. It was weird, I just calmed down instantly like I just need him there not saying a word.

I smile at the memory Isaac clears his throat and I look back at him. "Luke do you maybe have feelings for one or all of them?" Isaac asked with a light smirk. My blush darkens. Do I? I've never liked someone before. I must have been taking to long because Isaac chuckles. "Tell me what do you feel when one of them lets say holds your hand or touches you" He asked. "I get t-this weird bubbly feeling in my stomach and my face feels hot" I answer. "And you like their company" Isaac says. "Very much" I say.

A knock on the door startles me, Isaac gets up opening the door and Matthew is standing there. "Hey, I'm here to pick Luke up" He says. Isaac nods and welcomes Matthew in. He walks in but stops when he sees me, I'm probably red in the face and my face is stained with tears. "What's wrong!?" He asked walking over to me quickly. "N-Nothing" I mumble looking away. "We just had a very hard talk and it's normal to cry" Isaac says walking over to his desk. "Oh, okay" Matthew says touching my arm. That bubbly feeling returns and I bite my lip. "Alright you guys are free to leave" Isaac says with a smile.

"Thank you Isaac" I mumble. "Of course, see you next week" He says. Matthews hand that was on my arm slides down and interlocks our fingers together so we hold hands. My heart flutters as he squeezes my hand. "Let's go, we have a surprise for you" Matthew whispers in my ear. I nod my head and we start walking.
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I start walking to the front of the house but Matthew grabs my hand again and pulls me toward the open field next to the house. "Where are we going?" I ask confused. "It's a surprise" Matthew chuckles we suddenly stop and Matthew gets in front of me. "Ready?" He asked with a smirk. I nod my head a little excited but also very nervous. Matthew moves next to me and a huge smile blooms on my face. Ash, Wyatt, and Luke stood next to a huge soccer next with a new soccer ball in Luka's hands. "I thinks that's the first we've seen you smile like that!" Wyatt yells with a smile.

I walk over to them, Matthew right behind me. "I love it!" I say. "We are glad" Ash says smiling as well. "Here this is for you" Luka says handing me the soccer ball. I take it looking at how shiny it is. "Thank you, you guys" I sigh looking up at them. I set the ball down and jump on Matthew giving him a hug and he returns it. I then give Ash one, then Wyatt and last but not least Luka. I honestly can't wait to play, soccer is something I love very much and I wouldn't know what it is without my mom.

When she was still here one day she took me outside with a soccer ball. She set up a kid net and placed the ball in front of me. She cheered me on when I kicked it and she has always been outside with me when I play.

We all walk inside the soccer ball in my hands, I walk upstairs leaving the others and into my room. I put the soccer ball near my door so whenever I want to play it's right there. I sit on my bed and my mind runs back to what Isaac asked me. "Do you maybe have feelings for one- or all of them?" I think I do like them and not just one of them....I like all of them...
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Word Count: 1150