where are you going little deer?

A Old Friend

"Grandma, why can't I go play with the other boys?" Years ago my grandma told me "You can't." She said. "But why? I want to play soccer too!" I yelled. "Lizzy you know why." "I get I'm a girl but can't I?" "Lizzy you know your father disapproves of you playing any sports." It was always what they said. "Lizzy you can't play football that's for the boys!" "Lizzy you can't hang out with the guys!" "Don't be a tomboy!" "Come play with the girls!" It was always what they said. Never "come play soccer with us!" Or " your so strong!" My dad always said "a girl shouldn't play with boys! A girl wears dresses! Lizzy stop slouching that's not lady like!" No matter what I was never able to do anything with the guys because I'm a "girl". I'm supposed to be nice and diddy. That's how my father what's me to be. Why can't I play sports? Why can't I hang out with the boys? Why can't I wear shorts and not skirts? "I DON'T CARE IF I'M PLAYING AS A BOY!" I yelled. Havan looked studded. "It doesn't matter if the role is ment for a boy! A girl can play it just as well!" Suddenly reality came back to me. What was I doing? Won't this affect how he sees me? What if he tells his friends? Millions of thoughts came into my head." Hey calm down Lizzy! I was just saying that it would be better." It still irradiated me. I thought I was fine with being labeled a girl, but why does now make me feel so angry? Why? "I'm going to play the little boy." "But Carl-" "No I can do just as good as Carl can." My thoughts came out of my mouth without thinking. I knew it wasn't what Lizzy would do but I wanted to. Seb wanted to. I was going to play that role no matter what people say. "Well ok." It went back to being silent, had I said to much? Did I go over my reputation? More thoughts raced into my head. "Well I got my reason across to you, I hope you quite." He's words where cold but somewhat reusable. "I'm not going to." I want to play in the play. Because I could act more like myself, of course the character isn't the same as me but at least I don't need to make my voice sweet. After another hour passed my parents came to pick me up. "Did you have fun Lizzy?" My father's fake smile made me slightly laugh. "Yes I had lots of fun with Haven." I responded in my usual voice but a bit softer. My father had a quick chat with Haven's parents then left. "Sis get down her and help me with the dishes!" Roy yelled from the kitchen. "I'm coming just give me a sec!" I rushed down the stairs. A pile of dishes sat in the sink. "Looks like you didn't do them last time." "No I did a few." I sighed then picked up a sponge. "Oh! How did your play date go?" "It wasn't a play date, we practiced for the play that my grade is hosting." I scrubbed a planet faster." Oh really~ are you sure that didn't just trick mom and dad so you could go hang out with your boyfriend?" He starting to get on my nerves. "You do remember that I'm male right?" I wasn't going to put up with this today. "But you sound and dressed like a girl, maybe the doctor wasn't looking correctly." He smirked. "Oh you want-" "Lizzy are you done with those dishes yet? If not hurry up! Me and your mother have something we need to discuss with each other and I would like something to eat while talking!" My father yelled. My brother gave me another wicked smirk probably thinking he won something." Better hurry, Lizzy~" I groaned then got back to work. After cleaning the dishes I began to think what I was going to make, they seemed like they where going to have a serious talk about something so I decided to make spaghetti

December 6th 6:11 PM
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have different parents who didn't care if I was a girl or boy, but just loved me for who I am. Whenever I think about that my chest hurts, usually I stop thinking about that so it didn't hurt but not today. When I finished all of my chores I went up to my bedroom and sat on my bed, and started thinking of things until I thought about my cousin Jessie. Their parents didn't care if they were boy or girl or not. It made me jealous how they had such nice parents that respected their choice. Why can't my parents see that I'm a boy? I don't want to be a girl! I was born a boy for goodness sake! Suddenly a tear fell from my eye, then more came until my cheeks were wet. I was crying. I haven't done this for a while. It surprised me. The last time I cried it was out of pain of my dad hitting me, but I wasn't being punched. So why am I crying? Why? Is it because of the pain in my chest? But it didn't hurt to where I would cry. So why? "Your in pain.'' A voice whispered into my ear. I looked over to see who the owner of the voice was, but when I turned over there was nothing but my pillow. "How am I in pain? I'm not bleeding or anything." I said quietly but sternly.''Allyson." The voice whispered. "What does that-'' the book that Mr.M gave me fell over. Allyson was one of the side characters of the book, for some reason she was my favorite character of the book because I could easily understand her. The book laid on the floor open on page 111. I went over to the book and the first word I read was 'Meanwhile Alyson felt a deep pain in her heart. Why couldn't Sarh see that she needed her by her side? Why did she not believe her? She didn't do anything wrong, she was being framed by Haily. Hailey who was acting like she was the victim of this whole ball game was crying. "She stole my phone!" Hailey cried. The teacher looked at both Hailey and Allyson. "Allyson, could you please let me examine what is inside of your desk?" The teacher asked. "I'm being framed!she's lying!" Allyson spoke without hesitation. "Ms. Brown please let me see what's inside of your desk." The teacher said in a imtamtading tone. "Fine but she's lying." Allyson got up from her seat. She looked at Sarah, her heart felt broken again. She felt like she was almost about to cry from the agony of betrayal from her own-.' the book closed "Father." The voice whispered in my left ear. "WHAT DOES-." I couldn't speak any further, I tried to but couldn't, it was like a hand was over my mouth. "Think about it what was Allyson feeling?" The voice asked. "I do-." Again I couldn't talk. "Think about it." Suddenly I felt something touching me, I tried to look over but couldn't because a hand covered my eyes. "H-." I tried screaming but no words came out "dammit it's wearing off." I wasn't sure who this person was but I knew I needed to get away. I used my hand to try and pull off their hand from my mouth, and my other my eyes. They kept a strong gripe on my mouth but not my eyes. I tared their hand off. I quickly tried to look over but they pushed me down to the ground. "Please calm down Seb." The voice was slightly lounder. He put his left hand over my eyes again and pulled me back up. "Lizzy! Your boyfriend is here!" Roy yelled from behind my door. "We'll talk later." He whispered then he let go of me. I looked over but saw nothing. "Lizzy hurry up!" Who the hell was that? I started shaking. "Lizzy?" My brother opened the door. "Why the hell are you shaking?" Suddenly without me knowing I hugged my brother. My brother looked confused. "What's up with you?"