Once in a While

My job as a marketer was exhausting, but the most stressful part of my work was our boss. He was anti-otaku, if there was such a word for someone who disliked otakus. How dare he humiliate me and my first love? I missed him even more.

My boss used to say that cosplayers were weird. That they should separate reality from fantasy. That this world is not for them and they should create their own. Well, that’s what I thought too before I became one.

6 years ago, my best friend dragged me to this Anime convention. I watched anime sometimes, but I didn’t label myself as an otaku because I wasn’t so crazy enough about them. When I entered the venue where it was held, I was overwhelmed with the banners, designs, booths, mini-stores, and all the cosplayers walking around. It was as if they transported me to a different dimension. I hated to be in the middle of a crowd, but that day, I didn’t want to get out.

There were five cosplayers on stage who joined the contest. There was this guy who was wearing a tuxedo, eyeglasses, and a violet necktie. Among all the cosplayers, he was the most ordinary-looking. I didn’t know the character he was portraying. My best friend pulled me to a booth where they made us write a wish on a piece of paper and we hung them on an artificial bamboo twig. There I wrote, “I wish to be genuinely happy and contented when I turn 26.”

They gave each of us a single rose in return. “Give that rose to your favorite cosplayer,” the seller said. They looked like Japanese people to me with colorful wigs. So I went in search of a captivating cosplayer, but everyone was busy taking pictures. Everybody was wearing their mask, even the cosplayers since the pandemic wasn’t over yet.

Then I saw this guy again. He was standing there, alone, wearing some earphones. He was spacing out like the world revolved around him.

“Hey, I want to give this to that guy there. But I’m too shy,” I said to my best friend.

“That’s not a problem.” She suddenly held my hand tight and approached the guy who was clueless. The last thing I knew, he was standing right beside me while my best friend was taking photos of us. He stood so close to me that our skin touched and I felt his warmth. I took a glimpse of him and realized he was tall and he had cute eyes.

It was my second year in college when my journey as an otaku began. I had been cursing myself for forgetting to ask about his social media accounts. I exerted so much time into finding his real identity, but I failed. The following year, I went to the event and cosplayed Orihime Inoue. With all the fun we had, I continued my sole mission to find him. And he was there on the same spot, standing with earphones on. 

I mustered all my courage and walked up to him. “Hi.”

He removed his earphones and looked at me. “Hi.”

I was smiling under my mask because he cosplayed Ichigo Kurosaki. What were the odds?

We saw each other every year for the event and I always forgot to ask for his socials. But it was fine since we had a small conversation every time. We never asked for our personal information like strangers with emotional attachments. To think I was hysterical when guys tried to hook up with me because I was loyal to detachment.

One day, I finally gave him a rose. And guess what? He also gave me one. It was the most romantic thing I experienced in my whole life. That night, we created a callsign. “Ichi” and “Ori.”

But it was when our story ended. He didn’t show up the next year and the year after. I was heartbroken for years.

One night, everyone gathered for the Christmas party at the company. Someone asked my boss if he still thought about his crush. He replied, “I think of her once in a while.”

Well, I wasn’t interested in his love life. I was waiting and hoping for my first love to come back. Yes, I haven’t moved on for 6 long years.

Our boss got drunk and slept on the sofa. I was tired too, so I sat beside him. As an ordinary woman, I couldn’t stop gazing at his chest, his jaws, and his huge hands. I shook my head to stop this forbidden admiration of someone I hated. My loyalty to Ichi remained indestructible.

His phone beeped. I thought it was something important, so I poked his biceps to wake him up. “Sir, your phone is beeping.” He didn’t respond until his phone rang. It was my instinct as an employee to check it because I saw our client’s name on the phone. I answered the call and clarified some things to our client. 

I was about to turn off the phone when I saw his wallpaper. The picture froze me for seconds. I couldn’t believe it. To confirm my suspicion, I covered his mouth with my hand and studied his eyes. Everything flashed back at me. I gasped when I figured out something.

“No, it can’t be… Ichi?”

He held my hand before I could pull it away. His weary eyes were pleading, begging for me to stay.

“I’m sorry if I didn’t recognize you… Ori.”