"Mom/Dad you don't understand me."
I have used or thought of this sentence in my head like millions of times.
'No one understands me.'
I have used this sentence so many times that I have lost count. And it is now a part of my personality. I don't often connect with others as easily as I used to. I often get offended easily (Don't worry! In here I am trying to be as open as I can).
But now while writing this when I look back at times and think What did I do to make them understand?
Did I tried hard enough to cross the bridge to my loved ones to make them see where I am coming from?
No, I didn't.
For some of us (including me) we are very good at letting other share and listening to other's but when it comes to us we look out for ways to avoid.
It can be anything like bad past experiences or bad examples or being in the wrong crowd. Anything. And don't blame it on the introverts. I am an extrovert and outgoing person. I accept easily but when it comes to opening and laying my heart out for someone. It is just not my cup of tea.
And I really wish someone would have noticed it in me. With my fake smile and fake energetic personality. But lucky for me someone did. The key factor being 'Opening up'.
I opened myself up, accepted that what I had been doing is wrong. And bang! I got awesome people in my life not just my parents (I am still working on that, they still don't know the person I have been hiding inside).
You know the problem with us? We just Assume too much.
'Oh! He won't help me. He doesn't even know who I am.'
ASSUMING!
Now what if you'd have asked him and he might have helped? On the contrary he might have refused. But at least, it will give you peace of mind to know that you tried or that there is one person less you'd approach for help ;)
Dear parents, unfortunately there isn't much you can do. At this stage, it depends on them to trust you to open up. Just give them the reason to trust. And if they do confidentiality is important. Don't discuss it to make it worse. Ask for their consent if they want to discuss it or not. If they are opening up to one of you (either mother or father) just keep it that way. It will show them how serious you are about their issues and most importantly you understand them.
Dear Teens, It's opening yourself up that is going to help others understand you better not aloofness. Help doesn't mean only giving, sometimes accepting help is good too. Stop for a while and let others share the burden you are carrying around. People will surprise you. Be open to everything. Take life as it gives and embrace it.
That's all for now
Signing off
Megha
