Mirage

Is It That Hard To Believe I Cared?

I hate them, I hate them so much (affectionate)

"Would you stop with the- You almost died!"

"But I didn-"

"Yeah, well you came pretty fucking close." Tam paced room once then sat on the floor next to the cot Keefe was on and an empty one. He dropped his forehead to his knees in a sitting fetal position. "Why is it so hard for you to take care of yourself-To stop throwing yourself into dangerous situations like a suicidal maniac?"

Keefe was quiet for an awkward second. "I felt that you guys were ready to jump in between me and my mom and I didn't want you to get hurt," he said simply. "Easy choice, right? Me or you."

Tam glanced up at Keefe's bandaged right arm. "No."

"No?" He raised his eyebrow.

"No," Tam repeated, standing and folding his arms. "And if you're not going to choose yourself, I'll choose you for you."

"What's does that even mean?" He stuttered and tore his good hand through his hair. "You're so confusing-last year you basically told me if I was dying you'd let me."

"That was last year."

"What's the difference now?!" He squeezed his eyes closed when he jostled his arm.

"The difference is I l- you- you're my friend and with- whether you like it or not you can't just die on us," he said as sharply as he could with the stumbling over his words and his throat closing up. Why was he even doing this? What was he trying to say?

"I wasn't going to die!"

"Do you see yourself right now?" Tam wanted to scream.

"So? I'm a little banged up,"Keefe said. " It's not the worse I've dealt with and it's not like she wanted me gone. But you... you guys are expendable to her."

He wasn't smiling, joking, trying to play off a sarcastic scene-it was just plain honesty. Tam hated it.

He took a breath. "I... get it, but you can't..." Why was this so hard?

Tam heard the door open and sighed in relief. He mumbled a weak excuse, backing toward the door as their other friends rushed in. Safely out, he raised his home crystal and leaped back to Solreef.

-

Keefe was confused, to say the very least. Or was conflicted a better word? He watched Tam leave, trying to decipher the mess of emotions he was throwing at him. He was mad, obviously, but it was for the reason Keefe would usually assume.

He needed to talk to him. Like, now. But knowing Tam, he's not going to come back.

Elwin said three days. Okay. Three days and he'll sort this whole thing out.

Because he could've sworn he felt...

Keefe shook his head.

Three days.

He barely made it through one without thinking about it again. Keefe was no stranger to confusing teenage emotions. Or confusing emotions as a whole. Even with the times he could barely separate others' and his own. Like then. He couldn't tell if he'd been sensing Tam's emotions or just feeling his own.

It's times like these that being an Empath is a huge pain in the ass.

"Hey, Elwin?" he called. Elwin peaked through his office door, silly glasses falling over his eyes with the movement making Keefe snort. He pushed them back up.