𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑹𝑻𝒁 ┈ roleplay starters

03 - funny / humor

cringe - ish / fun / random
credits ; https://justanotherrpmeme.tumblr.com/post/94325779779/funny-sentence-starters-supernatural-edition/amp & https://rockinrpmemes.tumblr.com/post/129965343386/random-sentence-starters/amp
no cw / tws

"Did you know the guy who wrote Sherlock Holmes may have killed a man?"

"I'm going to join NASA and fling myself into the sun."

"I'm not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren't even hot."

"I wish i had boobs, like big ones."

"What's the problem with having a crush on game character?"

"I vote today to be a pajama day."

"I'm weird, you're weird, we could have weird little babies and live weirdly ever after if it wasn't for the fact I find you repulsive."

"There is nothing wrong with planning a wedding with a video game character."

"I'm gonna lay down and die for like half hour okay?"

"There's been some real friction in our friend group lately. I suggest an orgy to save our friendships."

"It's midnight, what do you want?"

"I think I know how to use a bed."

"If I wake up in the morning and I'm dead... Wait."

"You are completely unfit to handle a child."

"We have to get out of this place. It is EVIL."

"Don't you dare throw that snowba-, goddammit!"

"It's not a double date, we're just third and forth wheeling."

"If you could do anything with no consequences, what would you do?"

"Are you positive this is safe?"

"You have to tell me why were committing a felony before we do it. Not that that's going to stop us, but at least I'll have all the facts."

"I don't leave messages. If I wanted to talk to a machine, I'd talk to my VCR."

"I can be flexible. As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I'm totally flexible."

"You know we're suppose to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you, and you know it, too. I know you do."

"I am NOT crying, okay?! I'm allergic to jerks!"

"This would not happen if I had a penis!"

"You better take care of that car or I swear I'll haunt your ass!"

"I'd like to think it's because of my perky nipples."

"It's not that you're wrong, exactly, you're just extremely not right."

"You shouldn't be trusted with small children, should you?"

"Give me cake or give me death."

"On a scale from, 'I can sometimes make important phone calls without crying' to 'I have a stable job with a steady income, a spouse who loves me, a dog, and two kids who are screwed up minimally at worst', how much of an adult are you?"

"You think I'm dumb enough to fall for that stupid move?"

"Despite the cliche, it's not me, it's you."

"Obviously you can't tell a woman you just met that you love her, but it sucks that you can't."

"Oh, I'm not carrying that. It could go off. I'll man the flashlight."

"That was scary!"

"On Thursdays, we're teddy bear doctors."

"I miss conversations that didn't start with 'this killer truck.'"

"Next time you wanna get laid, find a girl/guy that's not so buckets-of-crazy, huh?"

"People believe in Santa Claus. How come I'm not getting hooked up every Christmas?"

"What kind of a house doesn't have salt? Low sodium freaks!"

"You know, maybe the spirits are trying to shut down the movie because they think it sucks. Because, I mean, it kinda does."

"Hey, see if they've got any pie. Bring me some pie. I love me some pie."

"I lost my shoe."

"I'm Batman!"

"I'm gonna go stop the Big Bad Wolf. Which is the weirdest thing I've ever said."

"Don't objectify me."

"You fudgin' touch me again, I'll fudgin' kill ya!"

"These tacos taste funny to you?"