Wild Flower(Jungkook FF)

Mind

It felt like a whole world crushed for him after his grandmother's demise. After the man took him home, I heard from Yoongi the next day. He had said that he needed his own time for now and I simply agreed because we were young and I thought giving him the time he needs would be a healing process for him, yes that was what my young mind thought but little did I know, that had I stayed with him despite his preference of little space, then may be, just may be he would be here, with me, right now.

Yoongi's pov:

'Why must grandma go? '

'Why must I be left alone?

'Why should it always be hard when finally things were going well?'

'Why? Just why??'

'These thoughts are killing me. What should I do now? Where should I go? To Y/N? '

The picture of her crossed his mind. Although he missed Y/N, he wanted to clear his mind and heart. He was still in pain and didn't really prefer any company.

'Should I quit playing? Should I keep playing? '

All these rumbling thoughts were crossing Yoongi's mind. Although he wanted to play from his heart, he still had to work to live.

Days went by and he had started working at places. He would take on any job that he got, cafes, restaurants and all.

He would also make beats and tracks in his spare time and provide it to producers but every time, either they would reject him, use his track and pay him less or would not give him credit at all. He would always get robbed off. The future he thought was possible, he was now slowly seeing the reality. No matter how hard he tried, people would always use him, the industry was not fair to him. He understood the play of money.

Everyday he would think of Y/N and would go to work. Just the thought of her kept him going on. He wanted to live with Y/N, may be, he also thought of having a little family of his own but  the desire of making music, playing till the heart worn out was more. As the days went by, he slowly lost that driving force to work.

Maybe he was tired of thinking that yes this was his life now, all the dreams were drowning and now he is just supposed to keep on living. Although he loved Y/N, he was also a little selfish for himself. His desire to play never really went away and instead grew more. He started doing work that pays him well than doing work he loved.

His thought of once becoming a big musician, living a well off life and taking care of his loved once slowly faded as he faced the world's reality. While Y/N was the one driving him forward, the same Y/N now became his weakness.

'How will I be able to look after her if I'm unable to live for myself?'

Is what he thought.

Days passed by, few months passed by, he would go to work, come home, go to work and come home. The routine continued. He would not pick up Y/N's call and when he did, he just would brush off the talk of meeting saying he was busy. He was losing hope, no interests at all, just going on because he was supposed to go on.

Everyday he would return to empty room and nothing more. His heart hurt when he saw people being with their family, when he saw people playing. Whenever he wanted to play, he feared he would not stop and that he would desire more and so stopped playing at all.

He wanted to totally cut out the world and be left alone. He would just wander to his own world whenever he was alone and suddenly would cry at night.

'Why do I feel so empty?'