Across the Lake

Chapter 9: Saying Goodbye

The day had finally arrived to face what was coming. My mom and sister weren't prepared for it, but I had braced myself the best I could. I knew I couldn't change what had already happened, and I desperately wished for a better outcome. When it came time to say goodbye, the tears flowed, from everyone, me included. It was hard on all of us, especially the family who had flown in to say their final goodbyes. It wasn't easy, and I knew it would never be. But before we left, I made a promise to him, even though he wasn't there. I promised I would fulfill what he wanted me to do.

The day passed, and I thought I'd be overwhelmed with emotions, but I wasn't. This time, I felt more prepared. I had steeled myself for what had to be done, for the sake of everyone around me. I didn't want to run away again and upset anyone. But when we walked out of the room, there was nothing but silence. No one wants to watch their loved ones go through this kind of pain, and the silence said it all. But in the end, it changed all of us, especially me and Claire. I never would've guessed that playing my guitar would become such an important part of my life.

In the midst of the grief and trauma, one thing became clear: staying together as a family was the best thing we could do. We needed to be there for each other, spend more time together, and really be a family. That was my goal throughout all of this, to keep us strong. When we finally returned home, my mom needed time alone to process everything. It was hard to watch her struggle, but I understood. I would continue with my guitar, and Claire would continue her writing. It seemed like the things that helped us cope, like music and words, were becoming more essential than ever.

I found other ways to manage my emotions, like writing them down. On the days I wasn't practicing guitar, journaling became my outlet. I also thought about therapy as a future option, as I knew it could help me work through everything. After I finished writing, I'd head outside, take a deep breath, and watch the clouds drift across the sky. I would walk slowly, letting the fresh air clear my mind. It didn't feel the same without him around, but deep down, I knew he would still be proud of me.

As I was walking around the lake one afternoon, I met up with Maya again. She was eager to practice, but I wasn't in the right frame of mind to play. She could tell and understood without me needing to explain. I promised her we would practice tomorrow, and her face lit up at the thought.

"Whenever you're ready, you know where to find me!" she said, smiling as she fell into step beside me. Maya had been there for me through all of this, and I could tell she truly cared. She knew about what had happened and empathized deeply. I told her that this was a huge process, but I had to keep going, I had to make my dad proud.

She stayed by my side, offering comfort, and that was all I needed. I never expected to be in this position, feeling so broken. Life, as I was starting to realize, doesn't always give you what you want. Sometimes it takes things away. It's a painful process, one that doesn't get easier. But I also started to see that overcoming these hardships makes you stronger. I clung to that thought, trying to make sense of everything.

As we neared the end of our walk, I thanked Maya for sticking with me during this time. I hadn't seen Paige much after that day, and I couldn't help but wonder how she was doing. The last time we talked, she had shared how she wished to grow closer to her sibling. I hoped she was finding some peace, wherever she was, as I made my way back home. The sky darkened quickly, and I realized that I didn't want to be outside alone with my thoughts. I still had to learn to trust myself again before I could fully find peace.

When I got inside, I was surprised to find my mom waiting for me in my room. I hadn't seen much of her since we had visited my dad. She was quick to hug me, asking if I was okay. We sat down and talked for a while about him, about how much he meant to both of us, and how much he had meant to the entire family. As I spoke, she began to cry, and it broke my heart to see her so vulnerable. In that moment, I held her, comforting her as best as I could, hoping that, someday, the pain would begin to heal for all of us.