I walked outside my empty house in South Carolina. I walk out to my car and start the engine. I was on my way to meet a manager of a fashion line. I put sapphire
in the back (my new kid) her first birthday is in two weeks and I barley have enough money to buy food. He father sends in money every month but it wasn't always enough.
I looked at her pretty brown hair and green eyes. Her green eyes reminded me of Julie. I haven't seen her or talked to her in almost 2 years.... Until today.
After my talk with the manger I got a text. I saw my lock screen show a message it read
"Julie😢:
We need to talk."
I replied "about what?" While I waited for a response, I drove me and sapphire home.
"Julie😢
I still hate you, but GOD DAMN IT JACK IS TURNING THREE TOMORROW AND YOU WONT BE THERE!! Your a horrible person I can't believe you won't even try to see him!!"
To Julie:
"If I see jack I see Cameron and when I even look at a picture of him I think of our fight and I cry every time."
I get home and set sapphire down for a nap and stare at the empty king bed where I used to lay down next to Cameron. I sit down on the edge and start to cry. What have I done? I cry more until hear my phone ding.
"Julie😢:
Whatever I'm soooo glad that Jack misses you and his first sentence was 'were is mama?' Wow just wow"
Just thinking about me not being there when Jack took his first steps, words, or being there to potty train him. I started to cry once again. I lay down and fall asleep. Just waiting for the baby to distract me.
