It got bad again{Stray Kids}

~2~

Chan pauses the music. "Let’s take a break" he says. He doesn't say a five or ten minute break like usual, he just says a break.

Chan drags Felix out of the dancing studio.

"Felix, talk to me" "What?" "You're clearly not okay"

"I am, hyung, I promise" Felix replies, forcing a smile.

But Chan can tell that it's not a genuine smile, it's nowhere near a genuine smile.

He sighs, feeling pity for the younger member.

He decides to leave it, hopefully Felix will come to him, because something is obviously wrong.

The younger boy goes back to the others, but Chan stays put.

He thinks about that one time, two years ago, when he heard someone sobbing in their bathroom at two a.m.

The door was unlocked, so he opened it, just to find Felix minutes away from suicide. Chan held him for an hour, and he talked to him.

Chan shivers at the memory, tries to brush it off and goes back to the others.

The eldest notices how Felix changes when he walks into the dancing studio again. It's like Felix is suddenly more aware of what he's doing.

They continue practicing dances, Chan watching Felix closely the whole time, causing him to mess up the choreography multiple times.

The others scold him, but he doesn't pay any notice to it.

He's still watching Felix carefully.

His slightly chubby face isn't chubby anymore, it's bony and skinny.

His skin is pale, and the bags under his eyes are more visible than Chan has ever seen them.

He's wearing a black shirt with long sleeves, but his skinny body doesn't go unnoticed by Chan.

He's back at it again.

Chan gasps quietly when he realises what Felix has been doing.

Last time Chan saw Felix like this was 5 or 6 months ago.

Felix realises that Chan knows, he has to stop. He has to stop now. He mentally curses at himself for not being more careful.

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And that's why he now, a week later, is sitting in the bathroom at three a.m.

The boy has had enough.

The hate, the depression and the self hate got overbearing.

And that is where Chan finds him, minutes later, passed out on the bathroom floor, an almost empty bottle of pills next to him.

It's too late.

The elder lets out a terrified scream as tears fall from his eyes.

Chan has no idea for how long Felix has been passed out, but he doesn't hesitate one second and dials 112.

The lady who picks up is very kind and calm, trying to help Chan as best as she can through the phone.

The others, woken up by Chan screaming, come rushing to him.

"What-" Minho starts before seeing Felix on the floor.

"He didn't-..did he..? Don't tell me he did.."

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They are at the hospital later, praying that Felix wakes up.

Seungmin is crying and Jisung is trying to calm him down.

"Wh-what if we..what if we lose him.." Changbin whispers.

"Don't say that. We won't lose him, he's strong"

"He overdosed a little while ago, and you're saying he's strong?"

"Calm down. Felix is just going through a tough time, I think we're gonna have to prescribe antidepressants for him"

"But..doesn't he already take antidepressants?"

"I thought so too, guess he uhm..stopped taking them..?".

A nurse walks up to them. "Are you here for Lee Felix?"

"Yes" "Okay, he's awake, but not stable yet"

"So he'll be okay?" "Hopefully"

"Can we see him?" "It's a bit..disturbing, but if you want to, then you can".

They follow the nurse to a room and see Felix on the bed, eyes closed, multiple cords attached to him.

He's wearing a hospital gown with short sleeves, and his arms are exposed to everyone in the room.

There are doctors next to him, taking blood tests and checking his breathing and stuff.

He looks so pale, and incredibly skinny. "How..how did we not notice anything.." Minho whispers.

"I-i don't know..". Chan walks over to Felix and grabs his hand.

"Felix-ssi? Can you hear me?". Felix is cold. His eyes slowly opens.

"Channie hyung?" he whispers, voice horase.

"Where am I? Why am I here? I-i was supposed to die.."

"Felix.."

"What were you thinking?! Did you think once about us?! Stay?! Your eomma?!"

"Minho, stop scolding him. How are you feeling, Felix?"

"Horrible. I was supposed to die, Chan.."

"Shh..why'd you do it?.."

"Because I'm fucking tired, Chan" Felix says, tears filling his eyes.

"I'm so fucking tired. Yes, we have the most amazing fans in the world, but I'm so fucking tired, you don't even know. I just want the pain to go away.

Why do I have to feel like this? Huh? What the fuck did I do to deserve this?! Why did you have to find me?! I would've been fucking gone!!"

"Felix, calm down"

"No, I'm not gonna fucking calm down! You made me live! Why would you do that?! How could you?! You know how fucking tired I am, and still you force me to be alive!"

Chan stays quiet, not knowing what to say.

"Uhm..maybe we should leave.." Jisung says quietly and they all leave except Chan.

"Hyung, you know that I'm tired, but still you make me live"

"I-i couldn't just let you die.." Chan mumbles.

"Yes you could. You could've done me one fucking favour, after everything I've done to you"

"It's for the better..what would we say to Stay?.."

"The fucking truth! Tell them that I killed myself!"

"B-but you're our sunshine..we wouldn't be Stray Kids without you.."

"Yes you would! People don't fucking like me anyways!"

"Felix..we like you, we like you so much, I-i can't even express it with words.."

"Stop lying! I don't wanna be here anymore! You know that I don't wanna be here, and you force me to live! What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

1006 words
Second chapter! If you have any suggestions for this story, feel free to comment. And if you have any feedback, good or bad, please comment :)