The flame

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Stars shine through the window as I sit on the sill. I can still smell the pepper, tobacco, and leather deep in the fabric of the too-large shirt draped over my frame. As I sit and reminisce, I can still see your vibrant smile, the one that lit up any room in an instant, the one that when I knew I would never see it again, shattered my world. A loss so deep it is almost indescribable, the pain I felt that day seared into every fiber of my being. 

The scar tissue coating my soul now faded to a dull yet ever-present ache, reminding me of how much I relied on you, how much I miss you. You were my rock, my guiding star. You were my home. Now, my home is ash. Burned until it was dust and scattered by wind until nothing was left, the only proof it was ever there, to begin with, was the memory of the warmth it brought. The warmth you brought. All that remains is a spark surrounded by ice, trapped in time. The memories are all I have left to keep me company, so I sit and think. I think of you and all we experienced, all that we shared. 

The time we had, what could have been, what we didn't get to see. I sit like this, day in and day out. Me and you, or rather me and the shadow of you, pictures cover the walls, letters fill the drawers, but I know that's all there is. You are never coming back. This I know. I look out and see the flame in the lantern marking where you shall rest u till one day when I can join you and we can finally be together again. That makes the pain bearable, knowing you would want me to be here until it's time for us to reunite. I will see you then my love......

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