"sweetheart you will always be mine"
— m.rjan. 23. 17
mondayAT HOGSMEADE: "so what should we get him" i muttered under my breath. i had a black hoodie on with the hood up, i had heavy shaded black eye bags, my eyes remained unlit.
my face un colored. i had white sweatpants on."gen are you sure your okay ?" she asked once again worriedly.
"i'm fineee" i groaned throwing my hands in the air "stop worrying about me" i snapped at her. which i instantly regretted.
"shit i'm sorry" i apologized. i thought she would be angry and lash out on me. but i saw something totally different. pity.
"let's go to tomes and scrolls" she said blankly, her face turned into an unreadable expression.
i nodded.
i walked into the dingy gloomy shop, books and candles were all over.i started to look around the candles. one candle that stood out to me was 'slow burn'
incense, black pepper, elemi, guaiac, raspberry, tonka, amber and smoked papyrus; encens, poivre noir, élémi, gaiac, framboise, tonka, ambre et fumé papyrus
i picked it up and held it, i started to look over the books, running my fingers down the books looking for one that stuck out to me
i was looking for a book that he would personally love.
a little life that was the one
it was about a guy with everyday experience of living with trauma, chronic pain, and disability, demonstrating the inherent intersections with one another, due to Dr. Traylor running him over with a car.
i remember reading that book, it touched my soul and made me cry. i would never want to read it again. but it is certainly written beautifully.
me and cerelia agreed on buying it.
***
there i was back in my room with cerelia.
"i have a boy for you" she said as she sat and did her makeup at my vanity.
"don't even bother" i replied. i was curled into a ball on my bed. the only thing comforting me.
"he's gonna die anyways it's selfish" i finished off."he's not a good guy geneva. the boy i'm setting you up with has a history of SA girl's so if he dies— it won't be an issue really"
"okay"
"can you leave after you get done your makeup" i said spoke plainly.
"okay geneva" i could tell she was upset. but at this moment all i wanted to be was high on coke. and i didn't want to do it in front of her.
i didn't care what happened i didn't care how i snorted it. i just wanted to feel something real.
feb. 1st. 17
wednesdaylooking in the mirror. i break and crumble. i'm pale, my lips cracked, bleeding. tasted like metal.
i'm very skinny. i haven't eaten for a long time.
i can't bring myself to either.
i've been filling my body with drugs and alcohol.
not letting my friends come in my room. hoping for them to think i was dead and leave me there to rot.
i was already doing that. i was rotting my life away in this puny body, and my room. clothes all over my bedroom.
YOU ARE READING
hysteria ; Mattheo Riddle
Fanfiction(DISCONTINUED. a new story) Geneva potter the sister of Harry Potter she attended Hogwarts she was normal and had a normal life. Until the Dark Lords son is the new D.A.D.A teacher. It starts out as a slowburn, eventual smut book is disturbing (...