L'Homme de la Nuit

L'Homme de la Nuit. Le mirage des yeux verts

I cannot remember how I appeared in the same park where I saw you the first time, but here I am. It's again night. At night all of my masks fall from my face. At night I can show my true face. At night I am who I am. But I can never remember where and why I wonder. And it's not the first time I wonder in this park hoping to see your green eyes. But I haven't seen you since that day when I left you in that park with your Italian dictionary.

For years I tortured myself with question "who are you, what is your name, where did you come from...and why you are stuck in my mind", but I couldn't find the answers anywhere... This empty and dark park doesn't give the answers; my mind cannot do it either. The leaves dance their eternal dance with the wind around my feet. Step by step I walk like a living ghost wondering to see you, but I'm the only living creature in this darkness looking for somebody that probably doesn't exist. Were you real or just my imagination? I swear by God you were more real than anything I have seen in my life. But how to find somebody that has no name? How to find you between six billions of people on this planet? And not a clue where did you come from...

Ты далеко в эту звёздную ночь,

Нам телефоны не могут помочь,

Нас телеграммы уже не спасут,

Только останется времени суд.

Шёл я по улицам и городам,

Но не нашёл, не нашёл тебя там.

Кто мне поможет, ведь нет уже сил.

As every night I sit on the same bench and stare at the bench in front of me. Hoping that you will materialize in my eyes like a mirage. Sometimes I could swear I saw you... sitting there with your dictionary and wind blowing your long hair which glittered in the street lamp like a fire. No, it was just my mind playing tricks. Tricks that started the day when I saw you. I close my eyes, listen to the wind swaying branches of the trees. It is like the music of the night that stops time for me. Will I open my eyes and see the sun rising like always? Or will I see You? None of that. I see the same dim light of street lamps and an empty bench.

I leave this place. Walking towards the street where a sudden rain starts. The rain expresses my emotions which I cannot express myself. My tired back leans toward the stone fence under the street light. For how long I will stand here without ability to move? And where should I go and why? I have nowhere to go and nobody waits for me. Je suis l'Homme de la Nuit. I do not belong anywhere and to nobody. I belong to the Night. Time passes for me as an eternity as I hear steps getting closer. I do not care who could this be and just stare into the abyss of the night where I see nothing and think nothing because I'm Nothing. Until...

Until I notice these brown-reddish hair appear like a fire in this night. The steps become slower and slower and they stop. My Phantom appeared. Here he is. The huge green eyes pierce my soul like arrows and these messy reddish-brown hair flow in the wind like a fire... Fire... Warmth which I cannot feel. Until the moment you touch my hand and this fire burns my entire body. What was this? Just a dream? A phantom? Or reality? But you still stand in front of me saying something, but I cannot hear a word you are saying. There were just your eyes in front of me. Everything disappeared in this world: street, trees, lamps, rain. It was just YOU saying something to me, but my mouth was closed. Even if I wanted to say something- I couldn't. My mouth was dry as a desert... Desert of my feelings where nothing lived.

I got back to my senses only when my legs stepped back and I... ran away from you. Ran away back to the darkness of the city where I was safe. Running down the streets like if a monster would be chasing me until I fell on my knees trying to catch my breaking breath. What did get into me? I ran away from the moment I've been waiting for so long. I lost my chance again... The chance that will never occur anymore.

I haven't returned back. Maybe it was just a mirage. A Mirage of Green Eyes.