When You're Gone

02

I sighed, almost facepalming. I don't know what he's talking about.

Future boyfriend? No way. I don't even know him.

I haven't slept yet because I can't forget the man who texted me. Sino ba 'yon para sabihin na s'ya ang future boyfriend ko!

I glanced at my cellphone again. Wala ng kasunod ang kaniyang chats. Mabuti naman.

I fixed my book and paper. Tumayo ako at nag-unat.

Sa wakas at natapos ko din. I have to study hard to get a good grade. I want them to be proud of me. Kahit kailan ay hindi pa nasasabi sa akin ni mommy La na proud s'ya sa akin. Natutuwa lang, 'yon pag sinunod ko ang kaniyang gusto. And my mommy and daddy, it has been a long time since I heard from their mouths that they are proud of me. I want to be mad at them because they forgot me; they forgot they had another child. They became too focused on finding my two siblings.

I'm hurting. I'm really hurting.

Pinunasan ko ang luha na tumulo sa aking pisngi. Geez, I'm crying' again. I lay on the bed and closed my eyes. I folded my two hands.

 
Praying.

 My God, I'm here again. Please guide my family. I hope my mommy and daddy will also be able to find my missing siblings so that I can be with them. That's what I want for Christmas. Amen.

 
Next day. I woke up early today. I fixed my bed before going to the shower. When I got down, the maid was preparing breakfast.

She's Rechelle, the youngest maid. She is the daughter of our mayor.

"Ma'am, upo na po kayo." She handed her hand. Iniling ko ang ulo ko. Ayaw ko ng pinagsisilbihan ako.

Her face startled at my reaction. Oh, am I bad?

I smiled at her. Mali ang inaakala niya.

"You can go now. I want to be alone. Thank you."

She nodded and smiled at me. What a sweet girl.

I looked around the table. I'm alone again. Well, I'm used to it. Mahaba itong lamesa para sa isang tao.

I smiled bitterly.

When I finished eating, I went to the living room.

"Rechelle, nasaan nga pala si mommy La?" I asked Rechelle, kahit alam ko na naman ang sagot.

She stopped wiping the vase. "Kasama niya po ang mga amiga n'ya. Aalis ka na po ma'am?"

I smiled and nodded.

"Yes. Is Mang Kanor there?" Hinawi ko patalikod ang aking buhok.

"Opo, ma'am." She wiped her hand on the apron she was wearing. "Tatawagin ko lang po ma'am." Dali-dali itong tumakbo.

I sat on the sofa. I looked around. Something caught my attention. A picture of our family before.

We are three in the picture. Me, mom, and dad.

Ang laki ng ngiti ko. Nakayakap sa bewang ni mom si dad ang isang kamay niya ay nasa balikat ko.

I remember this: this is my sixth birthday. I closed my eyes to that memory.