Boylesque (🇬🇧)

Shadows of the past

CW: sexual abuse (in the past, not between Malec) If you don't feel comfortable to read it, please skip the part written in italics. It starts with "Camille, please let me sleep" and ends with "hardened erection".

***

Magnus was in the shower forty-five minutes later. His headache had subsided to a dull throb, and with every passing minute, he felt a little more like himself.

He leaned his head back against the cool tile and let the warm water run across his face. Suddenly vague memories, little bits and pieces from the previous night, flashed before his eyelids. Usually, he'd have been glad that his memories were slowly returning, but the things he recalled made him gasp in shock.

Lying in his bed, dazed out of his mind on alcohol... Alec was undressing him with purposeful movements. Ordinarily, Magnus would have been delighted and quite pleased at this turn of events, for this was exactly what he desired from Alec. Though last night, it would have happened without his consent and as much as Magnus relished and enjoyed sex, this was something he could absolutely not tolerate. He was all the more relieved when he realized that there was nothing sexual in the way Alec had gone about this task. Just pure and simple care.

Magnus breathed out slowly as the images faded again. He went back to the task of relieving his body of the smells procured from the previous night and was just about to lather his hair when additional memories broke through to the forefront of his mind. The bottle of shampoo fell from his hands and landed at his feet with a loud noise.

Magnus stood under the warm jet of water, paralysed, as more images from last night played out before his eyes: Alec, with him in the shower, pressing him against the shower wall, his head close to his own. He had pressed his crotch against Magnus' butt, moaning into his ear, his voice hoarse and out of breath.

Oh my fucking God...

Did he and Alec have sex in the shower last night? Magnus closed his eyes and pressed his fingertips against his temples, rubbing small circles, hoping to muster more memories, but nothing appeared. His brain had seemingly decided to leave him in the dark. Magnus attempted this a few more times, but to no avail... his head remained blank. He made a frustrated sound. A queasy, almost nauseous feeling overtook his stomach.

Had Alec taken advantage of the situation? Was his shyness just a cover, only to strike at a moment when Magnus was most vulnerable and unable to defend himself?

Magnus had met a lot of people who had been two-faced, who had taken advantage of him and manipulated him when he was most vulnerable. Like Camille had done so many times...

Was Alec also one of those kinds of people? Magnus found it hard to believe that Alec could be so... deceitful. But...

Alec isn't like Camille, his heart tried to tell him. Magnus pressed his lips together into a thin line, trying to understand what had really happened last night. Had he just seen images of a dream reflecting his unfulfilled desire? Was his mind just playing tricks on him? He shook his head. The memories felt too real to be nothing more than a dream.

Magnus pressed his hand against the tiles in front of him as he dropped his head, caught between what his heart was telling him and what his past of dark thoughts and doubts were trying to plant in his mind...

***

"Camille, please let me sleep," Magnus murmured, annoyed, pulling at the duvet to cover himself.

Camille ignored his protest, moving along his upper body while she was working one love bite after the other into his skin.

"Camille, stop it, plea-..."