The Deceiving Winds

Emotions

These past few days sucked, suicide, panic attacks, my sisters boyfriend attacking her, it's just so much.

Why can't I just accept that?
"I told your mom your lesbian" said my dad .

"She and I talked and I told her I never meant to hurt her.

So please stop running from us".

I didn't answer.

"She can't keep you away from your sisters forever" said my mom.

"We love you and care about you and we won't stop coming to see you, but we need you to talk to us.

You know we won't tell your sisters".

"Why do I have to be the only one that's crazy?" I asked.

"Why do you think?" said my dad.

"You know your mom and I are worried sick about you" my mom added.

"What, why are you worried about me?

I'm not crazy, my life is normal" I told them.

"Your sister is in the hospital, you are depressed- and more, your life isn't normal anymore".

I was instantly out of it.

I was back to being a scared little girl.

I knew what my parents had just said was true, I knew they were right, my life wasn't normal anymore.

I couldn't hide it anymore, and I couldn't deny it.

I had changed in the past few weeks and had begun to sink.

"What do you mean my life isn't normal anymore?" I asked them.

"You are depressed, and we have seen it in the past" said my mom.

"You know we are always here for you and we love you.

Your sisters are here waiting for you, we can't keep you from them.

We will be here every time you are in need".

"But I don't want to tell them, they will freak out" I said.

"You have to tell them" said my dad.

"Why?" I asked.

"We won't tell them, but you have to let them help you.

Please you are-"
Before they could speak, I ran to my room and locked the door and looked at my mirror "you just ran from your problem again" I said to myself in the mirror .

"Why?" I asked myself.

Why was this happening to me?

I wanted to see my family so much, why couldn't I just talk to them?

Why did I always run from them?

The panic attacks and depression were getting stronger every day and there was no sign of it letting up.

I needed a break from the pain.

I thought about it for a long time and I knew it was the only thing that would give me some relief.

Then it came to me.

"I need to die" I said to myself.

"But I have a family" I said to myself.

"Yes you do, you just don't know it yet.

When you least expect it, they will be there, waiting for you.

Then you will feel better.

You will be free again." Said a voice in my head.

"I'm tired of living this way.