I'm now the oldest and only child of my parents. I miss my siblings dearly but I know I cannot mourn there death for very long, I have to become happy again as my parents try to make my persona forget about their deaths. My persona is the only thing they see. I'm their perfect child, Daddy's little princess and Mommy's little girl.
I can now longer call my father "that man" anymore or he will suspect I don't think of him as my father. It'll be harder now to pretend I'm naive to the real world and to what they did to my siblings snd how they really died. It'll be harder to fake my stupidity and my innocents but I'll have to try anyways. My life depends on it.
Mother is pregnant. I overheard my parents talking to each other in the office filled with hundreds of books, they were excited about the new baby but worried how they were going to break the news to there little girl because she was so 'fragile' but I didn't care. I just wanted them to just get it over with and tell me so I won't have to pretend I don't know I'm going to be a big sister.
I went to my parents and asked if I could have some juice because I was thirsty and wanted something to drink. Father said yes but they wanted to tell me something first, he said that Mother was pregnant and I was going to have a baby sister or brother and that I was going to be a big sister. I had to think quickly of how I should react to this, was I going to cry and claim that they don't love me anymore and that they're replacing me or should I act excited I was going to have a baby sibling? I didn't know.
I just started crying and Mother picked me up and asked what was wrong, I told her I was scared the new baby was going to take my place and that they would stop loving me and pretended I didn't exist anymore. Father assured me that it wouldn't ever happen and that they would both still love me no matter what. Guess I chose to "think" they're replacing me with the new baby.
...
Mother had a miscarriage. She wouldn't leave her bedroom, the only time she would is to probably go to the bathroom. Father tried to keep me occupied so I wouldn't think the baby died yet. He didn't want me to be disappointed because I wasn't going to have a sibling again. It was fine though, miscarriages happen and not every pregnancy works out. I was kinda glad honestly, I didn't like the thought of someone else having to suffer through the pain of finding out who their parents really are.
...
Mother is drinking. Miscarriage.
