I hid behind a stall in the mall. My mind was cleared now, but I still couldn't hold control over my body. I already knew what Zia was trying to get me to do, but there was nothing I could do about it. It was like being chained up while watching your family members getting killed in front of you. You feel and become helpless and worthless.
I was so lost in thinking of a way to get rid of Zia that I didn't realize that I was nearing Roxy. The girl was wearing a light blue sweater, half of it hidden by her long blonde hair, along with faded denim shorts. How did she not get cold? It was nearly winter.
Zia had stayed silent since I've arrived in this mall. No sound or noise was heard. I guess she was concentrating too hard on moving my body, like a puppet on strings. I was afraid of what would happen after I had killed Roxy, but at the same time, there was an eerie calmness that had taken over me once I had come to this mall. I didn't know how I could remain calm in a situation like this. Was Zia manipulating my feelings as well?
I snapped out of my thoughts, and found myself outside the women's bathroom. Then I briefly recalled the sight of the blonde going into the bathroom. This certainly couldn't be happening. I was so close to murdering someone, and yet I still hadn't done anything about being possessed? I wanted to run away from that door, to go back to the boulevard with the peaceful trees and Charlie. But my feet stayed put, clearly not going to budge an inch unless Zia intended to.
I wanted to give up. To let Zia take over and do everything. It seemed like nothing was going to change, that I couldn't do anything to make it change. I was tired of following orders, to do what they wanted me to do. I wanted to let it all go, and sleep forever.
Get ready, Cher. This is what you've been waiting for.
I didn't even bother responding this time. I was at the point of giving up. To let it all happen. I didn't want to play the games anymore.
So I stopped playing them.
I pushed open the bathroom door and, cautiously, stepped onto the tiled floor of the small space of the bathroom. There was barely any noise and there Roxy was, a stick of lipstick in her hands and looking at herself in the mirror. She ignored me, and I would've thought she didn't notice me had she not glanced at me before looking back at herself in the mirror.
I'm surprised she didn't jump straight to tormenting me.
I stood there for a while, not sure what to do since Zia wasn't making me move at this moment that Roxy was so vulnerable. Should I go up and talk to her?
"Don't even bother, Chermaine. I don't want to hear anything you say," Roxy smirked into the mirror, while still looking at herself. I groaned inwardly. How long did a girl have to look at herself in the mirror before leaving?
Slowly, I walked up to her. What was Zia making me do? I had no idea what was going to happen next. Then all of a sudden, Roxy turned around and looked at me. I stood still and looked down at the floor, not wanting to meet her eyes and let her know that I was actually trying to kill her.
We stood like that for a moment before I glanced up and noticed she was scrutinizing me. Every. Inch. I glanced down in embarrassment as I was wearing shorts and just a simple hoodie. Why on earth had I picked this outfit? I couldn't hide all the scars, the bruises, the cuts. All the clues of abuse.
I kept on silently scolding myself before Roxy spoke up again in that pretentious tone of hers.
"Weakling," she muttered before speaking loudly in a mocking tone, "Aw, who did that to you, poor Chermaine? The demons? The bad guys?"
When I didn't reply and kept on looking at my shoes, she snickered and looked at me with her disapproving eyes, "You're pathetic, you know that, right? Plain, pathetic, weakling,"
And suddenly, as if a pot of water that I had been boiling for half my life spilled over, I saw red.
I drew my arm back.
And punched her square in the face.
