ʜᴘ ~ sᴀᴅ ᴏɴᴇ sʜᴏᴛs||ᴇɴɢ

𝑭𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 (𝑺.𝑺𝒏𝒂𝒑𝒆)

Snape's POV

Dear Lily,

The final battle is in full swing. Death eaters are in Hogwarts, they are attacking students, teachers, innocent people.

The Dark Lord left me in the Shrieking Shack alone right after, when his snake, Nagini, dug its fangs in my neck.

I'm bleeding out slowly. I'm slowly disappearing from this world.

•

'Lily, I think someone's watching us.' Your sister started, when she was playing with you on a swing.

'Get out of these bush! I promise we won't laugh!' you shouted.

And I left my safe space. I stood up. You both looked at me. You smiled.

'Hi, I'm Lily.' You said happily.

'Severus.' I smiled.

My first meeting with you.

•

'Lily, cuz I...' I started shyly.

It was during our sixth year of studying.

'Yes?' you were so happy.

'I think... I've fallen for you.'

You started to laugh loudly. You placed your hand on my thigh. I blushed heavily. I wanted to cut.

•

The night right after you died.

I quickly ran into your house. At the threshold I saw the dead body of James Potter, your husband. I ran upstairs straightway. I found you in Harry's room. You were already dead. My legs became weak, when I had seen your body. I sat on the ground and cried.

•

I felt my heart started to beat faster immediately.

I can't believe all the things, that I've done.

I protected your son. I became a Death Eater. I told the Dark Lord, where you are.

I hurt so many people that I loved. I became blind to the harm I was causing them.

I tore up our hearts for my own satisfaction. I wanted you to feel the pain, that you caused me.

Karma's a bitch, it caused me a lot more pain and harm than I did to you.

I'm angel that God left. The angel, that he forgot about.

I'm not avoiding what's inevitable. I'm digging my grave since the day, when I hurt for the first time.

I was praying for the better days, but I was doing nothing about it. I'm only a sinner, imprisoned by rain. When I fall, I'll hurt one more person, I'll be no one again.

I'll come back to the place, that I'm from. Not heaven, not hell. The limbo, where all hurt souls go to suffer.

There's something ominous in the air tonight, you know? The moon is looking at me trough the whole in the roof. This view is different than I've ever seen. It's beautiful. Like in a dream.

The world doesn't need me to move on. There's no point in crying over me. I resigned from trying, It's over.

There's a great battle of thoughts in my head, but I'm calm. I feel free. Maybe I am where I should be?

These are my final moments. It seems to me, that time is wearing on.

I wanted to die since a long time and I was showing it.

Why didn't they stop me? How couldn't they notice?

I'm loosing consciousness. I hate it, how my story went on and ended.

I never wanted this and now I know it.

I'm sorry.

Your Severus.