Chapter 5, severe phobia

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I was now 9.
Getting ready for school, still as anxious as I was the first day, for some reason.
Why do I feel sick all of a sudden?
Uh oh. Here's where my anxiety comes in.
What happens if I vomit? Will I? What happens if I got sick? What happens if someone in my class gets sick?
"You ready to go Mads?" Says mum.
I wasn't, but I had to.
I nod.
I walk to the car, pretty much crying.
As we get to the gates, I stay in the car.
"What's wrong maddy?" Says mum.
"I'm scared."
We stay in the car, 1 hour late, talking about my fear and how scared I am.
"But what happens if I-"
"MADDY! it's time to to calm down!" Says mum, slightly raising her voice.
Oh no, I messed up.
We walk into school, seeing another late student. They probably are having a hard time too.
They come to give me a high five.
Oh no.
What happens if they're sick?
I have to high five them, ill look weird.
I smile and high five them back.
Anxiety. It's coming.
"Mum, what happens if they were sick? What if I looked weird!?"
"It's okay Mads" says mum.
It's not okay.
I walk into my classroom, still partly crying, but doing anything I can to hide it.

This is too much anxiety for me. I'm so young.

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