you often questioned: what was life without him? sure it was a dangerous lifestyle, he was dangerous to be with, to be around, there was a hundred excuses to leave him, the hundred of reasons that you used when you left, made comments that you could never go back on to distance yourself from him.
only because you thought he could care less about you being gone, that he would be unaffected because you thought of yourself as just another one of his mistakes. someone he opened up his house to, let in his bed for more than one night, fucked on a nightly bases.
except those women didn't last a week. they were greedy whores, at least that's what he'd call them when you'd argue. you were the one that he brought to social partys, meetings, though he took you almost everywhere you could never sit in on his meetings, that's one thing they could do.
at partys he'd walk away at one point and tell you to socialize while he'd talk other things, at the club you couldn't go anywhere past the vip booth unless it was his office with just him in it, you couldn't go on heist but he'd never tell you that they were heist, just business that needed to be handled.
yet you were still laying in the bed of your cold apartment think of him, missing him, thinking that maybe it wasn't for the best. that you were the problem and you should've appreciated every moment with him, intimate or not.
which lead you to make the worst decision you could probably make, well one of them. you sat up, slid on shoes and grabbed a jacket. you ran to the living room and grabbed your keys off the wall. the whole drive there was a blur.
you only found yourself in front of the club, tucking in your necklace. you walked up to the bouncer and sighed quietly and asked "do you think i can uhm talk to him?" the bouncer nodded and let you inside.
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you looked around feeling way undressed compared to the other people. a henchmen came up to you grabbed your arm and started walking towards his office. he started whispering "why would you come back, you were free from him, he's had a bounty on your head since you left"
you looked up at him and asked "he wants me dead?" the henchmen scoffed and answered your question annoyed "i never said dead but if he does he's going to do it himself, when you get inside sit down, you know the rules"
the henchman unlocked the door allowing you inside and you walked in and looked around before sat down. almost a hour later he walked in a bit amused.
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there you were in your pajamas and a jacket in arms reach. he walked over, sat next to you and grabbed your face, running his thumb across the J on your cheek. he sighed animatedly and stated "you know you made me miserable baby, i can't properly function without my brat constantly breathing down my back, you left and didn't take anything but yourself and the clothes on your body, that made me even more sad, i know you think i don't feel anything but you made me like you"
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you knew he was guilt tripping you but you knew even more that you were miserable without him too so you quietly apologize "i'm sor-" he cut you off and continued.
"i wanna to hurt you so badly, but i can't bring myself to do it, it's disgusting" you smiled softly and brought yourself closer to him. his thumb ran across your lips before he kissed them roughly.
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"try anything like this again and i will kill you" you nodded without plans to ever leave again.
