Jake0743: True Stories

1. KFC Call

Opening night. Annie. It was a huge success, and the unofficial cast party was right after. When I arrived, it was probably about 9:30 pm. I was one of only three people there, but others slowly arrived, until all of the main roles were there and a few others (I was a minor role). There were probably 10 to 15 people there once everybody had shown up. We put on the 1980s version of Annie, and we all just talked for a while.

The apple seller brought out her guitar and started to play some 4-bar tunes. Someone suggested that we should sing along, complaining about teachers and other certain people. The idea was a hit. @daisies-and-tulips (Miss Hannigan) began. I forget who we were singing about first, but we spent probably a half hour singing about a certain lady who caused a lot of problems. (no names) They were all really funny, but mine was:

"Mrs. XXXXXX, spawn of Satan! But you know what they say, haters be hatin'!" After every one, people clapped and cheered.

A few select others, about a few select people, were:

"XXXXX XXXXX, you're such a slob! Even ProActiv won't do the job!" Everybody went:

"OHHHHHHHHH!" It was funny because a few parents were watching, and they were laughing too, even though some of them got really... you know.

Pizza arrived, and we ate for a while. I guess somebody started a group message with everyone, and they were spamming people, but we didn't know who it was, so everybody was inspecting each other's phones to find out. That brought us to the idea of prank-calls. Oh, prank calls! Thank God for *67!

We started with the classics: Walmart, McDonalds, you know. We all joined in on a Walmart call. When the lady came on, we asked:

"Do you sell children?"

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, we're looking for one. Uh, a girl... she's 11... oh, redhead... and her name is Annie Bennett."

They hung up. I called Burger King, asking for a Big Mac, but those really weren't fun. We tried putting two phones together so the two people would start talking to each other, but that didn't work, either.

I forget who got the KFC number, but I was immediately hooked on the idea. I stepped out into the hallway and dialed it. A decently friendly male voice came on: "This is Kentucky Fried Chicken. How may I help you?"

Just by the way, everything I'm about to say, I made up on the spot. #talent "Uh, yeah, I was wondering if... I could run by a few questions with you... for my fast food school report."

"Yeah, sure."

"Okay, first off- are you really based in Kentucky? Or is the name just a tradition?"

"Actually, we're based in Texas, so the name is just a tradition."

"Wow, that's cool. Next off- do you add anything into your chicken? You know, stuff to make it cheaper?"

"Nope, nothing like that." I think he was lying.

"Okay. Is all your chicken fried? Because the name just says Fried Chicken."

"Our fried chicken is fried, and our grilled chicken is grilled."

"Well, do you know what oil your chicken is cooked in?"

"Nope. Don't know that."

This is where things started to fall apart. "Well, do you know what countries your chicken comes from?"

"Nope."

Then, at the request of Matthew (@TheCatFromMaine), I said, but not without snickering: "I'd like... (laughter)... to order 11,000 chicken wings." I burst out laughing. The guy was actually pretty funny.

"You ruined it. You just ruined it."

I said: "I know. But I still have a few more questions. Do you sell dinosaur wings, or any other endangered species that you're hiding from the media?"

"No, not currently.

"So there might be plans for it in the future?"

"Yeah, maybe."

"Well then, it was very nice getting to know you, sir."

"You too."

"I will remember this call, and I hope you will too."

"I definitely will."

"Bye."

"Bye."

By now, a small crowd was gathered, which consisted of Matthew, Paiton (I think she's @PaitonBree, but I'm not sure), and I think one more. They burst out laughing, because the conversation was both serious and hilarious all at the same time.

I went back into the main room to tell everybody about the hilarious call.

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I hope you enjoyed my first entry! Remember, everything here ACTUALLY HAPPENED! I was shocked that I had made such a good call! Anyway, if you want to hear more hilarious stories, just VOTE, COMMENT, OR FOLLOW!!!!! THANKS!!!!!