ꜱᴛᴏᴄᴋʜᴏʟᴍ ꜱʏɴᴅʀᴏᴍᴇ

six

-5 days ago-

"Daniel? Where are you? I'm waiting for you in the freezing cold and it's pitch black? Please call me back when you get this." I said trying to stay calm as I hung up the phone. I crossed my arms for warmth, holding my phone to my arm as I didn't have any pockets in this stupid short skirt. 

I don't even know why I agreed to this date. I had to sneak out of the house cause it is so damn late. But my friend Jessie convinced me to 'live on the wild side'. It's not like I'm uptight just because my parents are strict.

Where is Dan taking me again?  I think to myself pulling out my phone. Great, I had one bar. I scroll through our old messages. I remember it was some club, what was it called?

That's right, club Aces. It sounded like there would be a bunch of old white guys playing cards and hitting on young girls. 

I looked around me, I should just go home. He's not coming or he's going to be really late. 

I started walking home in the dark from our meet up stop, it was about 10 minutes from my house. I got why he couldn't pick me up from the front of my house but did it really have to be 10 minutes away. 

I wanted to hit myself for not bringing a bag, but at least I was wearing flat boots instead of the black heels I had planned to wear. 

I heard a car coming up behind me. It made me uncomfortable, why was it slowing down so much as it got so close to me. 

I turned to look at the car but I was just blinded by the headlights. I started to speed up. 

I checked my phone it still had one bar. What could I do anyway, my dad thinks I'm at home in bed and my so-called date is nowhere to be found. 

The car drove a little ahead of me and stopped. I froze. I started slowly walking backwards when I saw the car door open. Shit.

I started speed walking in the opposite direction, keeping my head low. 

The night was silent and no one else was around me. I could hear my boats clicking on the footpath. My breath was foggy in the cold night air. 

"Madeline!" I heard the man call out. 

I stopped and turned around. 

"Daniel?" I called back. 

"Yeah. Where you going?" He said walking towards me. 

"Jesus, you scared me so much," I said slapping him on the chest. 

"Why?"

"Why? It's night and no one is around, and some random car is following me."

"Oh, do you like the car? It's my dad's, I borrowed it for the night. Pretty sweet right?" He said looking impressed with himself. 

"No, not sweet. Where were you?" I said looking away.

"What time it is, was I late?" He said.

Dans an idiot but not that much of an idiot. What kind of excuse was that?

"No, that's it I'm going home," I said turning around. I need to learn to say no to people, I told myself. "And feel free to lose my number." 

"No, no, Madeline. Let me take you out and make it up to you," He said gripping my arm.

I turned to face him, flicking his hand off me. "No, we are done."

"Don't say that." 

I ignore him and walked away in the cold. I could hear him calling after me, begging me to stay and just to relax. I kept walking with my head down.

I heard him running after me. He seized the sides of my shoulders forcing me to face him. He leaned in close to me, his hot breath on my face. I didn't look at him, I tried to pull away but he was holding me too forcefully. 

"Let go," I said struggling. 

"No," He paused, "Let me prove to you, how much I'm sorry." He pulled me closer to him, as he firmly pressed his face to my mine. His mouth was wet and cold. His lip smushed on mine. His eyes were squeezed shut, mine still open as I processed what was happening.

I pushed him away from me as fast and as hard as I could. "Get away from me," I yelled out as I got free. He just stood there staring at me, as I ran the other way. 

It felt pathetic at the time, running away from him, but it was my way to feel as though I had power over myself. It made me disgusted the way he grabbed and kissed me as though I had no control over my own body. 

I converted emotional pain into the distance I ran. 

I stopped as I got to the main road. There were little cars on the road but I was still cautious. Daniel and his car were nowhere to be seen. 

I felt like I could breathe again. 

Shit, was that my first kiss?

I thought to myself as I replayed the last moments in my mind. I felt violated, by someone I trusted as well. So stupid. I feel my eyes become heavy as my tears welled up. My throat constricted and I tried to push down the feeling of betrayal. Suddenly a great sob escaped me, and I covered my face with shaking hands.

I turned as back away into an empty car park. I crouched down next to the short concert wall, holding in my sobs.

I can not suppress back the heartbreak any longer and I feel myself becoming a dishevelled heap of grief. I let my tears start pouring out in a flood of uncontrollable pain.

I just needed a moment, I told myself, a moment to let it all out before I got home and pretend like this never happened. 

I tried to dry my face as fast as I could. Rubbing my hands over my face trying to pull myself together. I ended up just spreading the tears across my face. I stood up, brushing myself down. 

Time to go home, I told myself, turning, getting ready to walk on the footpath back into the safety of the streetlights.

I heard footsteps behind me before I had the chance to turn, I felt a tight grip on me, I felt defenceless like I had lost power over my own body again. The feeling of metal pressed on my neck. My eyes widen. I tried to take a sharp breath but the hand was too stiff on my mouth, squeezing down my cheeks. 

I wanted to struggle but his grip was too strong around me. 

"Scream and I will kill you."