"It's Just A Dream" || Ranboo Angst Story

Dysmorphia

Ranboo didn't sleep, he couldn't sleep, he was scared of what would happen if he did. *I can't, I don't want that to happen again* he thought. It had been 2-3 hours since what had happened. His arm didn't hurt anymore and instead felt numb, the healing potion had helped a lot. Tubbo was fast asleep, he still had his arm rested around Ranboo whilst his hand lay gently on his head. Ranboo liked this, he felt safe, he felt secure, like nothing could hurt him, but he was getting bored and kinda wanted to get up but at the same time didn't want to leave. It took him a good 5 minutes for him to finally make up his mind as he decided to get up.

He slowly slithered out of Tubbo's comfort before walking to the bathroom, turning the light on before closing and locking the door. He then went over to the mirror and looked at himself, he didn't recognise himself at all, the person in the mirror wasn't him, it didn't feel like him, it all felt weird, he didn't like it but couldn't stop staring. *Ugly monster who deserves nothing but pain* he thought, and he agreed with the thought, he did look very ugly,
and he knew he was a monster, no one else looked like him, he was the only unusual looking one out of everyone on the server. He didn't even know what the other half of him was, it felt like he knew nothing about himself. "I'm just... a monster" he said, feeling tears slowly enter his eyes. "I'm just a m-monster who deserves nothing, I-I don't deserve this, I-I don't deserve Tubbo nor Michael, I don't d-deserve Tommy I don't deserve anyone" he started to cry, "I'm a f-failure to everyone". *I can't even recognise myself* he thought.

The more he looked at himself, the more he felt like he was forgetting what he looked like but he couldn't take his eyes away from the mirror, no matter how horrible it was. He made eye contact with the person in the mirror, "you're a joke" he choked out, "a failure". *I don't look like it, I don't know what I look like* Ranboo thought more, not noticing his breathing getting heavier. "You're a failure who deserves no one, you deserve to be alone" he cried as he started panicking. "Y-you deserve more p-pain" he cried as he started shaking. *What is wrong with me, why can't I be normal, why can't I just be like everyone else, why am I so different* he thought as his breathing started speeding up. "Y-you don't even know your own n-name, D-Dream made you think this and n-now you don't know if it's true" he continued "you're a nobody" he cried more, "a nobody".

"You are a somebody", he suddenly heard a voice from outside the room say, making him gasp and quickly shut up as he tried to hide everything, his panicking and his crying. "G-go away, please" he said, his voice shaky. "You know I'm not gonna leave you, it's ok" Tubbo said calmly, placing a hand on the door handle. "P-please just go" Ranboo whispered, trying desperately to keep his panicking hidden. "Ok, I'll be right outside the room if you need me" Tubbo said, respecting Ranboo's wish. Ranboo's breath was very shaky as he started feeling dizzy, he leaned on the sink whilst looking at himself in the mirror again. Somehow he looked worse than before, *why can't I be handsome for once in my life, why is it so hard* he thought, accidentally sniffling, giving away that he was crying.

"Do you need someone?" He heard outside the door. *Yes, yes Tubbo I need you but I'm not going to admit it because I don't know how* Ranboo thought as he started crying harder but quieter. "If you need someone then just unlock the door and I'll walk in and we can talk or hug or do whatever you wanna do ok" Tubbo reassured him, "it's ok to need someone". Ranboo shook his head as he recognised himself even less, it was horrible but he didn't want to look away. "Boo please unlock the door, it's ok, I'm not mad or anything like that, I am worried though, I wanna make sure you're ok" Tubbo said calmly with a hint of worry in his voice. Ranboo's face suddenly came to a realisation, "I-I'm sorry I didn't mean t-to worry you" he said shakily with his voice quite high pitched. "It's ok don't worry, please open the door, remember I'm not here to judge you, I will never judge you for anything, I wanna help, I care about you" Tubbo said, sounding genuine.