three in the morning « jack gilinsky

23. and some parents aren't.

 "D, you bought this on yourself." the words echoed around my mind, the silence in my room attempting to swallow me up as darkness swamped my room.

Bianca was right. Bianca was always right.

I did bring this upon myself.

I pushed Jack away from me because I couldn't handle the opinions of everybody else, I have never been able to handle the judgments, the way everybody seems to believe they have an obligation to throw their two cents in on my life, forcing me into believing that somebody who is completely and utterly right for me, is wrong in every aspect. I allowed everybody to convince me that jealousy ruins anything that is good, that Jack puts himself before anything and anybody else when all this time he has been putting me before everybody else in his life, including himself.

He put me on a pedestal, ensuring that there was always a smile upon my face even during the hardest of times, and I basked in his love for me, before falling victim to fear.

And the fear was not due to his jealousy, his jealousy exists simply because when he cares he truly cares, and when he loves he truly loves — the fear was due to the fact I have never been loved in the way he loves me, in the way he could love me.

I had a fear festering within me at the mere thought that he has the power to hold my heart in his hands, to dangle me from thread and leave me feeling things I have never felt before. He is capable of ripping my heart out of my chest, capable of destroying me even though he doesn't know that yet.

Jack reads me like a book, hence how he knew that it wasn't that I needed time to myself after everything that has happened, but more than I am impressionable, that when I don't know how to handle my own feelings, I left everybody else around me decide them for me, hoping it won't leave me hurting as much.

Once again, I have proven myself wrong, the hurt is impossible to ignore, even more so once the clock struck three in the morning and it hit me like an objection would a lawyer that cannot reach the bar, that my phone wasn't going to ring and Jack wasn't going to be on the other end of the line, high, and intent on figuring out the concept of life just for the sake of having a lengthy conversation.

I had well and truly put my foot in it this time.

THIRD PERSON

Letting out a sigh, Keaton stood outside the old fashion Italian style home, glancing down at his phone as he ensured he was at the right address, the address Jack had given him three nights ago before they spent two days together playing video games and basketball in the park with his friends, no mention of Diana left Jack's mouth even though she was bought up numerous times by all of his friends and Keaton.

"You can do this." he mumbled to himself, pushing open the black gate and slowly making his way up the path, the sun beginning to set, his stomach flipping.

He had it easy with meeting the Gilinskys.

Even though it was tense at first, how David and Katherine could barely string a sentence together, that feeling soon eased away, leaving it possible for him to sit around a Dinner table with both Jack, Celia and their parents. He even wound up staying the night.